Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. This is a very long post.

Trigger Warning: infidelity; car accident;

Mood Spoiler: happy ending; though this story is more about the journey

TLDR spoilers/author’s note: this starts out as a guy reflecting on a sad time in his life, he makes peace with some things and somehow ends with a road trip with an internet stranger. It’s a long one. Please don’t message me saying it’s long. I know. I edited and aggregated the damn thing lol.

Original Post: March 3, 2024

New to reddit, So I hope I’m doing this right.

I M35 was married to my wife F35 for 8 years. I left her 5 years ago. We are child free by choice, her choice.

I had always said we had a good relationship and marriage, but looking back I see that it was good for her.

Here is my Story

I’ve always been the nerdy type. Smart, good grades, but never popular. I am from a very well of family, due to my grandparents inheritance and some smart investments my parents did, I did not have to go to college or work and still have a comfortable life. But I love what I did

I met my wife my first year in college. She was in my class and was looking for a tutor. She was a scholarship kid. We spend more and more time together. But never in the weekend. I wasn’t the outgoing type and she would still go out in the weekend. After a while we started going on dates, and after I graduated we got married.

Looking back she started making decisions for us as soon as we got together. My wife worked the first half of our marriage, and when her company downsized she got laid off. She became a stay at home wife, who was not at home that much. She had friend she took trips with, had a lit of lunches and dinners with her friends. Basically spend my money on her well off lifestyle.

While I remember our love life being passionate in the beginning, it’s just that, a memory.

When I was 29 I Was involved in a car crash. They say a drunk driver totaled my car, but I still have no memory of that day. I was in a coma for 2 weeks. After waking up I had to learn to do a lot again. After 4 months I went back to work.

When I came back home my wife put me in the spare room, She said it has been like that a while because I was snoring. I kept my mouth shut, but I knew that this was new.

The accident somehow gave me clarity of mind. I could see that the marriage has been over for a while. But I still wanted to see if I could safe it. Everything I tried failed.

What sealed the deal for me was my 30th birthday. I came home and she was not home. She was having a spa day with her friends. I ordered takeout, watched a movie and made a decision. I wanted out. The next morning I want to my lawyer to start drafting divorce papers. I stopped engaging with her unless absolutely necessary. Slowly I started selling anything that had any emotional value to me. I left all her stuff for her. I bought a new car and left it at a parking garage not so far from our home. One month later all I had left were my clothes and a couple of laptops, projector, portable screen. Everything I needed to work from the road. I did not quit my job, I arranged for it to be completely remote.

2 months after my birthday I stayed while my wife was at jut another lunch with her girls, I took the new car, packed everything I needed in it, left the divorce papers and a letter on my bed in the spare room and closed the door to my house for the last time. Wondering how long it would take for her to notice.

I decided to drive cross country and visit every place I wanted to go but couldn’t because my wife didn’t want to.We had a prenup so she had no rights to ask anything. In the letter I explained I told her I was leaving and I would leave her the house and the car and would pay a sum every month for exactly a year after that she was on her own. In my own stupidity I forgot to mention why I was leaving. This would work out in my favor.

10 days after I left I got a text from my wife asking me where I was and if this was a joke. She called me but I didn’t pick up. I never pick up the phone while driving. I had an automated text send that said “I’m driving and will call back later”

She send me text after text after text. That night I stopped in a motel and decided to read the texts before calling her back. First she was asking if this was a joke, then asking when I Will come back, Then begging me to come back, not knowing why I left and then she said something. She was sorry and it didn’t mean anything and she will cut him off… She was having an affair. Something I never suspected.

I called her cellphone and she was at her parents. (I learned this tactic from TV) She started yelling at me and I hung up. I waited 1 minute and called back. She started yelling again and I hung up again. I waited 2 minutes and called back again. This time she wasn’t yelling and I started talking.I told her that she was going to let me talk first and after I said what I needed to say and then she could ask questions.

I told her why I left. We were married but living like roommates, not even roommates because they at least acknowledge each other. I don’t remember the last time we had a conversation. The last time we did something together. I didn’t remember the last time we had sex, but I know it was before the accident. I told her that for a month before leaving I stopped talking and sold everything I had in the house and she didn’t even notice. That it took her 10 days after I left before she noticed I was gone. If she had called me on the day I left I would have turn around immediately. I ended with, Thank you for admitting to the affair, I really didn’t know about that.

She tried to apologize and when she asked me to come back, I asked her why. If she could explain to me why I would consider it. What was in it for me. What would change? She couldn’t answer. So I said goodbye and told her my lawyer knows how to contact me. Then I blocked her. The next day I bought a new phone with a new number and left the old one in the motel.

2 weeks later I got an email from my lawyer that the divorce papers were signed. I was free. (Editor’s note: OOP expands on this statement in the Q&A post, but clarified that he felt free, not that the divorce was over.) I kept my word, My lawyer already had all documents signed by me that would transfer ownership of the house and the cars to her. The bank automatically deposits a fixed amount to out shared account every month for a year.

Where we are now. For the past 5 years I have been driving across the country, working remotely, I finally had a reason to start social media. I posted online where I’ve been and where I’m going. I stay in a place for a couple of weeks and drive to the next.

My ex-wife started following me on Instagram a year after I left and out of curiosity I looked at her public posts. I’m not planning on following her back. She posted pix with her boyfriend soon after I left. To her credit she did not badmouth me, at least not in Instagram. Two months after I left they apparently broke up. That was the last time I really had an update of her.

I also have a sex life now. Once I put myself out there it turned out to be easier to have casual sex. No committed relationship.

Now after years I’m going back to my home town. There is a reunion I want to attend. I’m staying for a month maybe two and then I’m going to Canada,

I have no plans of looking up my ex, but I will also not actively avoid her. If I see her, I’ll see her. If I don’t, I don’t

Relevant Comments:

She probably lied about being laid off:

No, the downsizing of the company and her being laid off was real. I knew more people at that company. But with her contacts she could have easily gotten a new job. Something I did not question at the time.

What tactic did you learn from TV?

The tactic of hanging up till she stopped screaming. That is something I got from a tv show.

Commenter: You’re from money, but sleep in a motel and when you change your number, you leave a whole phone behind. Nice story.

OOP: Money or no money, If you are unprepared, you sleep where you can get a bed.

I’ve slept in motel, airbnb’s, average hotels, even in guestrooms of people I’ve met. I don’t go to luxury hotel’s they make me uncomfortable.

And yes, I bought new phone, got a new number and left the old one behind. It a way of leaving the one way she had to contact me behind.

Commenter: Other than your accident, did you have any other memory loss from the coma? It’s surprising to me that she put you in another bedroom and lied about that, why would she think she can get away with that???

OOP: The whole week before the accident is blurry and the day of the accident is gone. I had also forgotten that mu mother died 3 years before that.

For the rest: I real…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1dk2rlz/i_left_my_wife_and_it_took_her_over_a_week_to/

I left my wife and it took her over a week to notice

I left my wife and it took her over a week to notice

Blocked

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. This is a very long post.