Hello. I’m going through a rough period and I need to take some things of my chest. I am a trauma survivor diagnosed with CPTSD. Although professionally and financially I am fairly successful, I am a deeply unhappy person.

My condition stems from a history of neglect and abuse from my family along from bullying at school. I always lacked someone to talk about my problems, so I grew up without a safe person to talk about my problems. I am not very social and I prefer solitude. I was born from a poor family in a 3rd world country. My life has always been about survival and trying to “get out of the hole”. I eventually immigrated to a 1st world country and found my financial stability. I made my career the focus of my life. It works for me most of the time.

Recently I got laid off, so that impacted my mental health. Although I dislike this job and I was considering leaving, I cannot shake off the feelings that “I’m not enough”. My work is not good these days. I am just counting the days before my termination becomes effective. Every time I make a mistake I beat myself up, I hear the much hated voice of my father pointing out the errors.

I know I am going through a rough patch and that eventually things will get better, but every day is uphill. I am fortunate that through therapy I have learned ways to ground myself and not let my negativity consume me, but it is painful.

Thanks for creating this space to share. All the best to those who struggle with mental health issues.

  • 108beadsM
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    1 year ago

    One door has closed. That is sad, and can be scary. May another door (or doors, plural) open for you to far better and brighter things.

    • tormentedsoul@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Thank you for your message. I am certain that there are other opportunities that with work and patience I will be able to tap. Your words are great company in these moments.