• ikka@lemmy.sdf.org
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    1 year ago
    • I work from home
    • My hobbies are solitary
    • I refuse to use proprietary platforms (discord)

    Being a recluse sucks, thankfully I live with my fiancee but it often isn’t enough.

    • MJBrune@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      One of those things are immediately solvable. Your can’t sit in solitary and get upset that you get little real life interaction. Either own it and be happy or change to make yourself happy. It’s not possible to live a perfectly ethical life and be happy.

      • Karnickel@lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        Everything you said is fine except the last sentence which isn’t just wrong but literally came out of nowhere.

        Edit: maybe you mixed up the word “ethical” with something else?

        • MJBrune@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          The thing that is immediately solvable is to go meet people on proprietary platforms. Which they are avoiding for ethical reasons. It is not possible to be perfectly ethical and happy. It’s really just not possible in the world we’ve made.

          • ikka@lemmy.sdf.org
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            1 year ago

            The thing that is immediately solvable is to go meet people on proprietary platforms.

            We are communicating on Lemmy… it seems possible to meet people off proprietary platforms.

            Which they are avoiding for ethical reasons. It is not possible to be perfectly ethical and happy.

            This feels a bit like telling a vegetarian to go eat a steak.

            • MJBrune@beehaw.org
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              1 year ago

              We are communicating on Lemmy. It is possible to meet people far far away and not really form real-life interactions with people. How many people in your “I’d travel to hang with” area is on Lemmy though?

              I’m not telling a vegetarian to eat a steak though. I’m telling a vegetarian to eat protein and iron because they feel sick because they don’t have these key things in their diet. However you get the protein and iron is whatever but clearly the way they’ve been trying isn’t working. Even the Lemmy software isn’t made by ethical people in my book. https://beehaw.org/post/524300 is a great take on why I picked BeeHaw in the first place. It’s a long read so here is a select quote:

              The world has a colonialist history, rife with violence and immoral behavior. Unless you retreat the woods and recreate technologies yourself from scratch, it’s impossible to live in a modern society without benefiting from technology built on countless dead bodies in history.

              There is no perfectly ethical way to use technology. There is no perfectly ethical way to order flowers. The Good Place makes a good and entertaining argument: https://youtu.be/R8m_5HDZF7w?t=94 The answer of just “do the research and buy another tomato” doesn’t work because then you waste literally all of your life researching or potentially going into the woods and never using anything anyone else created again because they could eventually be unethical people. GNU’s founder defended pedophilia openly. Linux’s founder has created and perpetuated toxic work environments. No consumption is perfectly ethical. Where you draw the line is arbitrary.

              • ikka@lemmy.sdf.org
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                1 year ago

                https://beehaw.org/comment/704101

                I use paper bags because it seems like the best solution currently. Recycling paper is relatively easy and something that some people do in high school or middle school. Besides recycling them they are also biodegradable, they completely break down and don’t harm the environment. You can’t recycle plastic bags due to the type of plastic it is so they are directly a waste product that’s non-biodegradable and photodegrade over 1,000 years.

                Why did you choose paper bags over plastic bags? Was that decision influenced by… no… it can’t be: ethics?!

                Even the Lemmy software isn’t made by ethical people in my book.

                “Your book” is riddled with inconsistencies and assumptions about me. Methinks you are simply here to argue.

                • MJBrune@beehaw.org
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                  1 year ago

                  Paper bags don’t cause me drastic issues that affect my everyday life.

                  I am not here to argue but this discussion has dissolved into bickering. I was just trying to help you with your problem about making friends because I was in the same situation about 5 years ago.

          • Karnickel@lemmynsfw.com
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            1 year ago

            OP didn’t say they don’t visit those platforms for “ethical” reasons, you came up with it yourself.

            And also it is perfectly possible to live an ethical life and be happy. Not every person must harm others or act otherwise unethically in order to be happy. You also can’t just take a quote from some dude and claim it to be the ultimate truth, especially in philosophy.

  • Duchess@yiffit.net
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    1 year ago

    I understand this doesn’t work for everyone and you need to be careful but truly I met my partner through discord

    • chris.@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      yeah, i did with my last partner too but i wouldn’t exactly recommend it as the first option considering how unsafe it was & some of the experiences my friends have had up there

      • Duchess@yiffit.net
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        1 year ago

        oh yeah, i’ve heard of a lot toxic behaviour coming from discord but it truly depends on the circles you run in. for the record i had made a brief attempt at dating while on reddit (i know) and that was pretty disastrous.

  • DrPop@lemmy.one
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    1 year ago

    Meet people in online social places. I met my wife in school but I also have a great friend who I flirt with, my wife knows, who I met playing an MMO. We do want to meet up but she lives half the country away and she’s still in college. Just fine a community you like and eventually you’ll open up to someone.

  • snowbell@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I met my SO playing online games. We played pretty much every day together for 6 years then moved in together.