This is a story about a shitty girlfriend who dumps her boyfriend on his birthday and the bored reporter who wrote up a nothingburger.

But is it dystopian though?

I hate AI with a fiery passion. But in this instance, it seems to have done its job in a perfectly neutral and factually accurate manner.

What you perceive as dystopian is that it didn’t sugar-coat it like a friend trying to break the news to the man would. And there’s a reason for that: it’s a fucking machine, not your friend. Don’t anthropomorphize machines and suddenly reality looks a lot more normal.

an experienced professional in the field of romantic failure

oof

“No longer in a relationship; wants belongings from the apartment,” Apple AI summarized

The actual summary for those interested.

I too would break up with someone sending all my comms to corporate AI.