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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/DifficultSituationCY on 2023-07-10 18:50:40+00:00.
Okay this is a very difficult topic, I realize that so we both are going to write it. Me and my husband (29M) and before I start, I realize that you are internet strangers but we want a third opinion and it never hurts trying.
My husband (let’s call him Liam) has blood cancer and it’s been diagnosed too late, the doctor told us he’s going to live a year and half or so, best guesses, if he gets treated, a few months without it. I’m pregnant, 3 months.
My perspective:
Liam is going to die, words are not enough to express the feelings I have right now and God knows that but I keep crying whenever I remember it so I just want to be strong for once and write how I feel. Liam and I always wanted to have a family, that’s all that we ever wished for, and when we finally started it, he’s going to disappear. It’s not his fault, I’m never blaming him but I just want him to witness the birth of his son, just a photo of him and his son together, something to remember him by and something that my son is going to see in the future and something that doesn’t make him regret it later.
I just don’t want him gone without knowing that his son is finally alive and healthy, I just want to have that moment but he doesn’t want to keep getting chemo because he feels terrible, it’s just a few months more, I keep telling him to hang on a little bit and he feels so conflicted right now.
Liam’s perspective:
I never wanted to have chemo but my wife pressured me to do it, I understand how she feels and how my whole extended family feels, they want to see me more, they want to have more memories with me, they want to enjoy life with me a bit longer, but I can’t I just can’t do it anymore, my head is hairless, I feel so tired that I can’t go to the gym like I used to anymore, it just hurts and I feel awful. What’s the point of living if I can’t enjoy it anymore? Just to see my son? I love my son before he’s even born so so much but I don’t even know if he’s going to like me being miserable in a photo, I want to leave with dignity and I don’t want him to see me like this 10 years later. I followed the treatment plan in the beginning for my wife and parents and siblings and all but I don’t think I want to continue anymore and now she keeps trying to convince me to do otherwise.
We want your opinions. What would you do if you were in my place? AITA (the wife) for telling him to keep getting the treatment? AITA (Liam) for wanting to stop?