• 2 Posts
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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: March 24th, 2022

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  • When I have romantic feelings it doesn’t make me want to sleep with the person they’re directed towards.

    It doesn’t make me want to necessarily sleep with them either, but rather stay up late having sex with them. And maybe after sleep.

    But this idea of asexual romantic attraction makes about as much sense to me as saying “When I am hungry it doesn’t make me want to eat food.”

    When I say I have “romantic feelings” for someone, the feeling I’m referring to is a combination of love and sexual desire. Even when I was a kid and would sort of push down or repress sexual thoughts because in my head it felt wrong or inappropriate, what I was feeling was sexual desire and love.

    My understanding of the term “romantic” has always been euphemistic, based in an understanding that it would be weird and rude to just tell someone you’re crushing on that you love them and you want them to love you too and you want to put your mouth on their genitals because you think you could make them feel really good and you want to physically intimate to be vulnerable with them because vulnerability is a part of of not just physical but emotional intimacy and you want them to share their feelings and feel open to you and so on and so on you get the idea.


  • Do people seriously conciously fantasize about taking part in erotic acts with real people (especially ones they have feelings for)?

    Yes.

    I kinda get the disrespect perspective, maybe. I felt that a little as a teen. But then I thought it probably wasn’t respectful treating my crush in my mind like a sort of sexless statue or object rather than a real human being that I was in love with and wanted to have sex with.







  • This is actually a good take. Kids aren’t miniature adults, they’re kids. They’re not helpless or useless, but neither are they fully morally and emotionally developed. They need guidance. Plenty of adults can’t responsibly handle internet access. I survived early onilne porn and gore and social media, but it’s not like any of it benefited me in a meaningful way.

    Some folks have an attitude that’s like “I touched hot stoves and I learned better”, but that’s far from ideal.






  • Do I approve of sex work?

    So, yes, sorta, mostly, but I don’t think it’s straight forward.

    For one, sex work is a very broad category that ranges from selling feet pics to having sex to which you wouldn’t otherwise consent with strangers. So under that large umbrella of “jobs wherein you assist someone with getting their rocks off in exchange for money” there’s a lot of variation and differing considerations for the impacts on the workers and the clients.

    So I guess I approve of sex work in the general sense that I approve of any service industry labor that doesn’t intrinsically harm the worker or the consumer. But on the other hand, sex work, particularly having sex, and even stuff short of having sex, bares some higher risk than your average behind-the-counter job. There’s risks of violence, disease, and emotional or psychological harm, some of which is higher because of illegality or stigma, but some of which is higher simply because of the intrinsically intimate nature of sex. And sure, there is something kinda squicky about commodifying human intimacy.

    But on the other hand, the demand is there (not like I don’t consume porn), so the supply will always follow to meet it. So best you can do is ensure that whatever labor sex workers do is as safe as possible, and that the people who do the labor do so freely (to the degree possible in a society that’s still capitalist).