“b-but bears are actually dangerous!” Shut the hell up.

  • deaf_fish
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    2 months ago

    I appreciate your reply.

    they’re not physically safer though, that’s the problem.

    I think this kind of misses the point. Women have given us their feelings on the man/bear topic. Which are implicitly valid as all feelings are (from men or women). Telling them that they have done an incorrect assessment of the situation is invalidating their feelings. This of course adds weight against the man category especially how a large group of people got personally offended by a data point. The interesting piece of information here is that women feel less safe with a man than a bear. Not that their feelings are rooted in reality, because they don’t have to be.

    The signal the women are getting is that yeah, their feeling don’t matter. If their feelings don’t matter, what else doesn’t matter? Are they going to get “um, actually-ed” when they try to set personal boundaries. Can you see that if a lot of men don’t respect women’s feeling and personal boundaries that it can turn into a physical saftey issue?

    To answer your paragraph about what is likely to happen or if the assessment is correct. I don’t care. It’s a roll of the dice. The bear will kill the woman sometime and the man will kill the woman sometimes and other times nothing will happen. I am not a bear scientist nor a sociologist, I don’t have the numbers in front of me. The question of what actually would happen is uninteresting to me as it is a hypothetical. We don’t need to accurately prepare for the man/woman/bare/woods situation, it’s not likely to happen.

    I did a quick (probably bad) google and I got this: “1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed, 2.8% attempted).”. from https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem.

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 months ago

      I think this kind of misses the point. Women have given us their feelings on the man/bear topic. Which are implicitly valid as all feelings are (from men or women). Telling them that they have done an incorrect assessment of the situation is invalidating their feelings. This of course adds weight against the man category especially how a large group of people got personally offended by a data point. The interesting piece of information here is that women feel less safe with a man than a bear. Not that their feelings are rooted in reality, because they don’t have to be.

      oh absolutely, my problem is less with the example, and what people think about it, because it’s impossible for me to understand another persons position on account of not being that person. But the way that it’s being portrayed. Like you said, it’s about the meta conversation, not the literal statement. Which is why i initially found it really weird that people kept re-iterating that initial statement, expecting people to somehow understand the underlying meaning behind it, even though that was never elaborated on.

      Also it’s not that their feelings aren’t rooted in reality, it’s more so a hyper reality, where the potential for something to happen goes from potentially, to almost certainly. Which is understandable given their experiences, but again, misleading which is important to keep in mind when talking literally about the subject. (which is not what we’re doing here to begin with so meh)

      The signal the women are getting is that yeah, their feeling don’t matter. If their feelings don’t matter, what else doesn’t matter? Are they going to get “um, actually-ed” when they try to set personal boundaries. Can you see that if a lot of men don’t respect women’s feeling and personal boundaries that it can turn into a physical saftey issue?

      where is this signal coming from? My thread specifically, this post more broadly, the topic at hand, or in a societal fashion? If we’re talking on a individual level, just one person, you or me, feelings mean literally nothing, they are magic. We do not understand them. You put two people in a room together and suddenly those feelings allow an incredibly in depth level of communication and interaction between two people. They seem to be specifically for the use case of people interacting, you put a group of people in a room, and cliques will form, people will break off, and sub group with each other. In this case feelings seem to drive a functional cohesion between groups of people, while enabling conflict resolution. My question here is that these things are complicated, i need more specifics to properly understand what you mean here.

      To answer your paragraph about what is likely to happen or if the assessment is correct. I don’t care. It’s a roll of the dice. The bear will kill the woman sometime and the man will kill the woman sometimes and other times nothing will happen. I am not a bear scientist nor a sociologist, I don’t have the numbers in front of me. The question of what actually would happen is uninteresting to me as it is a hypothetical. We don’t need to accurately prepare for the man/woman/bare/woods situation, it’s not likely to happen.

      yeah this is what i’m kind of stuck on here, why are people using the hypothetical then? Wouldn’t it be vastly more productive to talk about the underlying problem? Yet some people seem/seemed deadset on solidifying the conceptualization of the hypothetical, even though people clearly didn’t understand what the purpose of it was.

      did a quick (probably bad) google and I got this: “1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed, 2.8% attempted).”. from https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem.

      i understand that it’s high, the interesting stat to me here is how many unique men a single woman will interact with throughout her life, because pairing those two stats together gives you a very detailed understanding of both how these things work together, and how we can conceptualize the stats for this specific hypothetical, as well as more broadly, since yknow, we interact with people, it’s kind of a requirement for living. I imagine that specific stat is probably going to be much much lower than one would think. Given how many people you pass by on any given day.

      • deaf_fish
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        2 months ago

        where is this signal coming from?

        A very large amount of people who think the result of the man/bear thought experiment means that all men are bad/rapists. I have been arguing with quite a few.

        So, I am confused. I thought we disagreed on more. But I think we agree on most things. Am I missing something?

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 months ago

          A very large amount of people who think the result of the man/bear thought experiment means that all men are bad/rapists. I have been arguing with quite a few.

          ok so it’s more on a thread/societal level then, yeah that was pretty much what it thought as well. Just wanted to be sure before trying to pull shenanigans or anything.

          We probably agree, my problem is that i think people are shooting themselves in the foot by not correctly representing the situation here and as a result, not doing a net positive (or as much as they could be), or potentially even a net negative.

          Basically TL;DR “litmus test” for this, is that if someone comes in and says “are you calling all men rapists?” you’ve probably done a funny somewhere, and it should probably changed. Obviously theres always going to be the one dude, but that’s an exception so i’m not counting that. It’s just important to be careful about who you consider the exception to be, because in ww2, it was a little spicier than the topic at hand today.

          • deaf_fish
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            2 months ago

            I mean, it also could be intentional. Some people really do hate women. So the first thing they did after the man/bear thought experiment was to say “Oh look women all think all men are rapists/bad. There is some kind of gender war going on here”. A lot of people I have talked to have chilled out after I ask “Who said that all men are rapists? No one is saying that.” They realize they might not have understood the original issue or have been mislead.

            That’s what I like about this meme. The statement is fundamentally true. It is a sub-set of “Feelings are less important than safety”. Anyone who upset about it is either someone who is uninformed or mislead. Orrr someone who wants their to be drama, someone who wants women to be afraid or be victims and/or wants men to be hopeless and upset. If you are just uninformed a quick question can resolve the issue. If it is intentional, a discussion should ensue that make their ideas look a foolish or wacky.

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              2 months ago

              They realize they might not have understood the original issue or have been mislead.

              yeah, ideally you shouldn’t be saying something that causes this in the first place, but that’s an impossible problem to solve, so the second best solution is to just be clear and concise about what you’re talking about. Which people on the internet hate doing because funny short quip get updoot instead.

              Unfortunately, i saw a lot of real silly for lack of a better term here, responses to people either not understanding it, or not being able to comprehend what was going on. Wouldn’t be the internet otherwise i suppose.

              That’s what I like about this meme. The statement is fundamentally true. It is a sub-set of “Feelings are less important than safety”. Anyone who upset about it is either someone who is uninformed or mislead.

              so technically, the statement you quoted here is a sub set of the original statement provided in the meme, which is a super set of of this. Though i suppose that depends on how you define it, because if you’re going by how wide of a net it throws, it would go the other way.

              Personally i also really like the way the meme is structured, because it leaves very little room for misinterpretation, i just don’t really know that it provides the proper context to someone that hasn’t seen it because, well, at least one of the threads is deleted, and the other is like a week old or something. But assuming you have the context its great. What i don’t like is people bastardizing it and saying “feelings are less important than safety” for a few reasons, but notably because this sentence makes no sense semantically. Given that feelings are often what produce a sense/feeling of safety for most people. It just doesn’t seem to track. Unless you’re talking explicitly about physical safety, in which case it would make sense, but then we’d be ignoring the entire point of the bear v man statement all together. And it’s lost all meaning suddenly.

              Plus it’s also incredibly vague, i cant remember if i went into details in this thread or another one, but it could mean literally fucking anything, unless you have the “inside knowledge” it’s an obtuse statement to the point of it being hard to understand. Which is another problem i have with these sorts of statements, they only really make sense to an “in group” most of the time, which is great for the ingroup, but sucks if you aren’t in the in group, because then you get the hexbear instance problem.

              • deaf_fish
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                2 months ago

                I agree with most of what you’re saying.

                You keep coming back to the vauge thing and I don’t understand how it’s vague.

                If I didn’t know any current events, I would still agree with the statement. I might be curious as to why the statement needed to be made but that is something I could figure out later.

                • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  2 months ago

                  You keep coming back to the vauge thing and I don’t understand how it’s vague.

                  it’s important to remember that the consumer isn’t you. Notably, i’m rather predisposed to autistic mannerisms when it comes to thinking about things, so if you hit me with something that is missing obvious context that i should have in order to understand it, i’ll make a mockery of it by misinterpreting the ever living shit out of it because i think it’s funny.

                  Another big thing in this case specifically, is that not everyone is a female, or has had those experiences, nor have they talked with people about them. Like i said previously (womens safety is more important than mens feelings) is pretty easy to glean information from (safety is more important than feelings) means almost nothing in comparison, even though you removed two words. You removed two words, and replaced those specific subjects, with what could be literally any other subject like i mentioned previously, feelings are rather intertwined with safety most of the time.

                  Which can lead to really funny misinterpretations of this statement specifically where you think it’s talking about the fact that you need to separate your feelings from your sense of safety, because often times they can be irrelevant, which is true. But also not what we’re talking about here. But given the recent bear thread that happened, is that what we’re talking about? I’d probably say no. But hey look at that, i might be wrong and misunderstanding it entirely, when in reality i could’ve nailed it right on the metaphorical head here without even realizing it.

                  As far as i’m concerned, we could be talking about the very broad interpretation i lined out, as well as the more specific one laid out in the pretext, and to be completely honest, i’m not fucking sure which one it is. Both of those make perfect sense to me given the contents of it, and contexts surrounding the other.

                  • deaf_fish
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                    2 months ago

                    Thank you for explaining that.

                    i’ll make a mockery of it by misinterpreting the ever living shit out of it because i think it’s funny.

                    Hilarious, I do like a good trolling.

                    missing obvious context

                    Like what context specifically?

                    Which can lead to really funny misinterpretations of this statement specifically

                    Can you give me some specific examples? It would help me understand.

                    But hey look at that, i might be wrong and misunderstanding

                    Which is fine. English is a very imperfect language (most languages are, but that is the best we have). Most of the people are wrong most of the time, including me.

                    What is your threshold for vagueness here? You would need to have a programming language to remove vagueness down to 0% and encoding this meme perfectly would be 20 pages of code if not more.