"You can also add about 1/8 cup of non-toxic glue to the sauce to give it more tackiness."

Archive link: https://archive.ph/GtA4Q

The complete destruction of Google Search via forced AI adoption and the carnage it is wreaking on the internet is deeply depressing, but there are bright spots. For example, as the prophecy foretold, we are learning exactly what Google is paying Reddit $60 million annually for. And that is to confidently serve its customers ideas like, to make cheese stick on a pizza, “you can also add about 1/8 cup of non-toxic glue” to pizza sauce, which comes directly from the mind of a Reddit user who calls themselves “Fucksmith” and posted about putting glue on pizza 11 years ago.

A joke that people made when Google and Reddit announced their data sharing agreement was that Google’s AI would become dumber and/or “poisoned” by scraping various Reddit shitposts and would eventually regurgitate them to the internet. (This is the same joke people made about AI scraping Tumblr). Giving people the verbatim wisdom of Fucksmith as a legitimate answer to a basic cooking question shows that Google’s AI is actually being poisoned by random shit people say on the internet.

Because Google is one of the largest companies on Earth and operates with near impunity and because its stock continues to skyrocket behind the exciting news that AI will continue to be shoved into every aspect of all of its products until morale improves, it is looking like the user experience for the foreseeable future will be one where searches are random mishmashes of Reddit shitposts, actual information, and hallucinations. Sundar Pichai will continue to use his own product and say “this is good.”

  • catloafEnglish
    4·
    24 days ago

    I primed ChatGPT with cuil theory (which it already knew) and here’s what it came up with

    You ask me for a hamburger. I nod and walk into the kitchen, but instead of returning with a hamburger, I bring you a picture of a hamburger. Confused, you ask again, and this time I present you with a photograph of you asking for a hamburger. Frustrated, you repeat your request, and I hand you an intricate painting of the universe, meticulously devoid of any trace of hamburgers. Baffled, you insist once more, and suddenly, a trout appears, reciting lines from Shakespeare’s “Hamlet.” Undeterred, you ask again, and I give you a detailed map of Atlantis, with all the continents shaped like hamburgers. Your persistence leads me to produce an ancient scroll, describing a hamburger in a forgotten language. As your patience wears thin, I conjure a sentient cloud that dreams of becoming a hamburger. Still seeking a hamburger, you find yourself transported to a dimension where hamburgers debate human rights. Finally, a symphony envelops you, its notes tasting like a hamburger. At your final request, the fabric of reality unravels, and in an existential twist, you become the hamburger you so desperately sought.

    Not bad. Doesn’t look like it cribbed directly from any existing texts, at least as far as I can tell by searching Google for “cuil hamburger hamlet atlantis”.