Hi. I’m new here. I am a workaholic. When I started to notice my mental decline I was working in very important role at one of the largest companies in the world. All I could see was the end prize, financial freedom. A few years in I knew I was going through health issues because sleeping was rough, I always felt on edge. All I wanted to do was make sure my wife would be set up if I died.

One day I could not take it anymore. I went to a different company. Took less than a week and I had the big one. A complete breakdown. I didn’t know what it was until a friend told me it may be panic attacks.

I got let go in about a year. I’ve been bouncing around jobs since. I get back up, I apply myself, I’m determined; or more like super productive due to stress.

Then I heard about a friend’s spouse who died of cancer. They were younger than myself. It just breaks me with a lot of what-if questions. If this happened to me, I didn’t enjoy life. I just worked. I got little progress to show for it except money in what feels like a doomed economy. I worked to make sure my wife can live an enjoyable life when I am gone. I don’t have a clue how to have fun.

I am now stuck with a lot of what-if questions that don’t have answers. I start my new job in about a week. It’s a good company, pays well, allegedly they care a lot about their employees. I just wish life would slow down enough to process things; deal with the anxiety issues. Now that I can breathe a bit again and about to regain my footing I feel more stressed.

Tl;dr I don’t know how not to have my life revolve around work.

Edit: feel free to offer advice. I’m kind of just in my own anxiety right now.

  • kwking13English
    7·
    2 days ago

    When you’re a type A kind of person who enjoys having routines and tasks to complete in order to keep your active brain happy, I find it’s best that you intentionally include personal time into your calendar and stick to it as if it’s an important meeting. Instead of waiting for free time to pop up and then thinking “well now what?,” put plans in place ahead of time on your calendar to take time for yourself. Maybe the first few hours on the calendar are spent reflecting about the activities you already enjoy or some new ones you want to check out. Then plan out when you’re going to do them. An hour on Wednesday afternoon going for a hike at whatever trail, 2 hours Saturday evening watching your favorite TV show, 1 hour Friday night joining your friend for an event you’ve never heard of before. Be specific and be intentional with your time. I think you’ll find that it helps your brain to still be in that “go get it!” mentality when you’re actively and purposefully setting aside time for yourself to break up with monotony and relax your brain. It’s not only good for your overall physical health, but it will help you avoid burnout and allow you to become happier and more productive with the time you do spend at work.

    That’s what I’d suggest you start working on. Start today by putting an hour block on your upcoming calendar to sit down and intentionally plan out when you will take time for yourself and what you might want to do. Then hold yourself accountable for relaxing and taking care of yourself just as you would a job responsibility.