WASHINGTON—Doing her best to appear elated while a large, throbbing vein protruded from her forehead, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she was ‘really, really, really happy’ for Vice President Kamala Harris as she shook the presumptive Democratic nominee’s hand and refused to let go of it. “So, so, so proud of you for this huge accomplishment—there is no one more deserving of this than you,” said a stock-still, unblinking Clinton, who, when panicked advisors quietly asking her to release the presidential candidate’s hand, only widened her smile and clamped her fingers tighter, causing Harris’ bones to audibly crack. “Oh, don’t worry about us. We’re just two strong women having a great time. Ha ha ha. Girl power! Right, Kamala? Just think, you could become the first woman elected to the American presidency! What could possibly be better than that?” At press time, Clinton was reportedly being dragged away after pulling Harris in for a hug and attempting to snap her neck.

I found this satire piece to be absolutely delightful, capturing the potential rage that Hilary kept under wraps after it was announced that Trump won. It was a disappointing time, as that orange clown got the better of a far more fit person to serve in office.

  • localmeEnglish
    22·
    4 months ago

    Hmm that makes sense. And yet something like 3 million more people voted for her than trump, right? Maybe Kamala can pull this off if people tend to like her any amount better than Hillary. Also, I think Kamala will put in the extra effort, whereas, as you said, Hillary didn’t seem to.

      • BradleyUffner@lemmy.worldEnglish
        11·
        4 months ago

        Had “No Confidence/Vacant Office” been an option neither could have been elected.

        I don’t think the people that didn’t bother voting would have left their home to vote for that choice either, so one of the actual candidates still would have won.