I keep seeing men online (Reddit, Instagram, TikTok) saying how they don’t know personal details about their male friends of several years. It is mostly said in a proud context, or in disbelief when a woman talks about it.

I’m talking about knowing someone for years and not knowing what they do for work specifically, their relationship status/major issues, their life goals, their family situation, birthdays, and stuff like that.

For context, I am a man in my 20s. I have a close friend group of around 10 people. We all know each other very well. We have a group chat, and meet at least once a week (obviously some people can’t always make it). We know a lot of details about each other, so this idea of being close friends with someone and not knowing personal stuff about each other seems foreign and weird to me.

Does it actually happen, or just internet hyperbole?

  • Devi
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    fedilink
    109 months ago

    I’ve got a male friend getting married soon. He struggled to invite many of our other male friends as he didn’t know their surnames, addresses, or in some cases phone numbers. These are close long term friends.

    He can however tell you a hundred stories about stupid stuff our friend Adam has done while drunk.

    I just don’t think male conversation includes details or personal stuff often.

    • @Microw
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      49 months ago

      Tbf I wouldnt consider surnames and phone numbers “personal details”. Surnames and adresses are largely irrelevant for interactions in a friend group, and phone numbers would be swapped mainly for adding people to a Whatsapp/Telegram group chat. (How did he keep in contact with these people without a phone number, though?)

      • Devi
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        fedilink
        19 months ago

        Group chats and at meet ups I guess?

        • @Microw
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          29 months ago

          If its a group Chat in Whatsapp/Telegram etc, he still would have access to the phone numbers. Could be a group chat on discord or insta though, good point.