My husband works at a small store and recently had an older woman came in to buy some stuff. On her way out, he was holding the door open for her because she was using a walker. As they were in the doorway, she said something about “Oh no, we’re not doing that today” suggesting that he was trying to make some type of move to sexually assault her.
He is really offended by her comment because he is not the type to harass or assault women. I’m having a hard time talking to him about it in a non-biased way, because I know what it’s like to have to assume that men are going to try to pull something, especially if you’re alone.
I’m hoping to get some advice on how to talk to him to make him feel better or more supported because both conversations we’ve had, I feel like I’m invalidating his feelings because of my bias.
Are you saying things like “You’re right, you did nothing wrong here, but I get why she said that.”? Maybe if you can’t just go “You’re right, that sucked” at least you could switch the order, and say “Look, women have to look out for men acting a certain way, but she was wrong to say that, because there was no way she should have thought that from you holding the door”. Make sure the “you didn’t do anything wrong” is the last part you say, instead of the “women have to be careful”
I definitely said it the first way, thank you for the advice.