NEW YORK—Touting the breakthrough as a major step forward in primate research, scientists at Columbia University announced Thursday they had successfully taught a 7-year-old western lowland gorilla to buy beer for underage teens. “Despite years of setbacks, we’ve finally trained a gorilla named Makuba to pick up a…
There’s hope for humanity after all. The possibilities are now limitless.
“What do you mean hyper intelligent gorillas won’t solve all our problems? Which one of us has the PhD?”