• Signtist
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    1 year ago

    I wasted my entire life being kind to people

    Sorry, bud - kind people don’t say that. Yes, I’ve been walked all over by assholes, and I’ve been taken advantage of more times than I can count. I’ve been bullied and abused because of my body, and I’ve been made to feel like I don’t deserve to share the same planet with some people, but I’ve also met some amazing people who accept me and love me.

    The whole point of being kind is to be vulnerable, and to help people earnestly and without judgement. Why would I give a shit that some asshole got a leg up because of my effort, or felt bigger by making me feel smaller? If I help 100 jerks and one good person, at the end of the day, I helped a good person, and that makes my whole day, regardless of anything else. That’s how you find the good people in the world, and build your social circle with people who care for you.

      • Signtist
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        1 year ago

        Clearly you’ve given up hope, and need to reject the idea of other people people being happy, and surrounded by love in order to not feel like you made a mistake in doing so. Nobody’s trying to kill me, nor are they trying to kill you - people are pretty good at that, as you pointed out; when they actually want to, they don’t try to, they just do. I’ve gotten death threats before, and lo and behold they were just threats. Had anyone gotten a gun and actually came after me with it, I’d be dead. You would be too, if they were serious about their supposed effort to kill you.

        I’m in a loving marriage, with friends and what’s left of my family after I cut out the bad parts. They all support me and want me to be happy. We hang out and help one another, and it’s been years since I even met someone who I remember treating me poorly, because once you have that support network you don’t even care about those kinds of people. You end up just seeing them for what they are instead - just normal people who never learned to interact with others; pity them. You’ve still got a good chance to find your friend group. Don’t throw that chance away by just assuming such lives don’t exist - they absolutely do.

          • Signtist
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            1 year ago

            Alright, you’ve got people trying to kill you that’s terrible. You’ve definitely got it worse than I ever did, and you’re justified in thinking everyone’s out to get you. So start fresh. My mom never tried to kill me, but she did try to forcibly denounce my citizenship so I’d be utterly reliant upon her, so I moved across the country and lived for a few years in a closet of a bedroom owned by some lady I found on craigslist.

            It sucked, and I had pretty much no money, but in about 2 years I managed to get back on my feet. I was even able to move back to my hometown, since I didn’t want to let my mom force me to live away from where I wanted to be. I made a new social group, and let some people from the previous group back in once I assessed whether they had my best interests in mind. I’m not saying starting fresh would be easy - it’s certainly the hardest thing I’ve ever done - but it sounds like you’ve got people actively hunting you down, so if they’re as incompetent at murder as you say they are, they should have an even harder time killing you with a thousand miles between you.

            I’m not telling you about my life to brag - I’m actively encouraging you to find those same joys yourself. That’s what it looks like when someone encourages you - they tell you about how good your life can be if you regain hope.

              • theangryseal@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                You is batshit crazy. I don’t want to dominate you but I definitely pity you. I wish I could travel back in time and just set up traps to trip and pants everyone who was ever unkind to you. I can’t do that though, but I hope you get it all figured out one day.

                You need to allow positive influences into your life. Hell, some decent negative influences might serve you better than the version of reality you’ve made for yourself here.

                And if everyone is so evil and hellbent on dominating you, why do feel the need to interact with them on social media? It’s like you can’t commit to the isolation, which is a good thing because maybe at some point something positive will come your way.

                I don’t know man. I’m not dealing with the madness that you are so I know there’s probably nothing I can say to help you.

                I hope you can manage to help yourself some day though. Your abusers poisoned your brain, and then you’ve continued to apply that poison up to the place you’re in now.

                I hope you get better. I really do.

                Take care fellow human.

                  • theangryseal@lemmy.world
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                    1 year ago

                    Oh so now I’m directly involved in your misery? haha

                    Me, who spends all of my time alone playing video games lol.

                    Ok bud. You try to have a nice life. Not gonna happen as long as you think you’re the center of the universe and every person on the planet is out to get you.

                    You keep fighting your lonely little war and the rest of us are just gonna keep on living.

              • Signtist
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                1 year ago

                Sorry, bud. I’ve told you all I can. At this point, your life is in your hands. Not the hands of those who want to hurt you, not the hands of those who want to help you, but can’t because of your rejection of the world. Just yours. I hope you make the right choice in the end. You deserve to be loved - and you will be, if you let it in. Please at least remember that much.

          • Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            1 year ago

            Like… call the police idfk. This violence and abuse is foreign to me, its not most people’s experiences and you’re in a deeply dangerous situation. You get away from those people, and actually the majority of people are great.