NEW YORK—Stressing that the memory seemed so fresh and vivid in their minds, the confused nation announced Monday that they could have sworn British entertainer Russell Brand was already a convicted sex offender. “Interesting...so Russell Brand definitely wasn’t already found guilty of sexual assault back in,…
Can Onion stop writing actual news? It seems like a slippery slope to some really wacky reality … I mean wackier (like “Earth’s welcoming committee headbutts the first alien delegation to come to Earth, war imminent”).