Because many childless middle aged people regret not having kids. Without kids, what the big thing going on in your life? A mediocre career, a small luxury every now and again? Picking up hobby after hobby, trying to fill a hole that just refuses to be filled by distractions?
Life becomes a book without a plot.
They see themselves in you, you making the aame mistakes they made. And they want to keep the cycle from repeating.
And plenty of young parents have regrets having kids, because they miss out on so much of living for themselves. Not everyone is fit to be a parent, not everyone regrets not having kids, and the way certain people push others to have kids is not done well.
Sharing your personal regrets and experiences of waiting too long to be a parent, while understanding they might not have the same experience; that’s fine.
Telling someone they’re making a mistake and they’re wasting their life or losing time; not fine.
Edit: also, I say this as a parent. I have yet to find a legitimate argument for having kids that isn’t based (at least partially) on being selfish. Your comment argues that it enriches the life of the parent. But I think that’s a bad reason to have a kid, it’s inherently selfish. People who view having kids the same way won’t want kids, especially when they understand how fucked up the world is that they’d be bringing their kid into.
Because many middle aged parents regret having kids. With kids, how can you do anything with your life? A career you hate but can’t leave because you have mouths to feed. Not being able to have any hobbies because between work and sleep all your time is consumed with your kid’s hobbies.
Everyone regrets the choices not taken. I regret having picked college over a paying job, my dad regrets not enlisting and becoming a sniper, my mom regretted not picking a career in math… everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
I couldn’t imagine regretting that I had a child. That sounds like someone who abuses or neglects their child. If you are pregnant and don’t want a child, either get an abortion (if you can) or put it up for adoption. You can’t be forced to raise a child.
Because many childless middle aged people regret not having kids. Without kids, what the big thing going on in your life? A mediocre career, a small luxury every now and again? Picking up hobby after hobby, trying to fill a hole that just refuses to be filled by distractions?
Thankfully, we just need to show those people your parents, and they’ll be perfectly happy being childless again.
If you don’t want people to be angry at you: don’t make sanctimonious proclamations that insist that your viewpoint on an extremely personal and complex matter is the only correct view for some reason. I’m one of those people that will never have children and your condescending remarks on my life choices are quite unwelcome and lead me to have a rather uncharitable opinion of you.
Choosing not to have children is not “a bad mistake”. It’s not a “mistake” at all. It’s a personal choice that you have no reason to weigh in on and you would do well to keep your opinion to yourself. The issue here is not that you are weighing in on a mistake, it’s that you’re assuming that someone’s personal choices and autonomy are a mistake.
But what’s a lot? You say “a lot” for regret and “a lot” for not regretting. I’m not really sure it can be “a lot” in both cases.
It is possible to see another point of view, but your original comment is hardly showing multiple view points. It comes off as if you’re saying everyone who doesn’t have children will regret not doing so.
I know plenty of couples who don’t want kids and who are self aware enough that they would not make good parents. They’re still good people, but they wouldn’t have the patience or resources to care for a child. And that’s ok. Even one or two generations ago, they would have been heavily pressured to have children.
That’s part of where the pushback against your comment comes from, the societal push that everyone has to pair off and everyone has to have children. It’s not necessary for survival now and there is the theory that it wasn’t necessary hundreds of years ago either. The childless actually helped care for the children of the group and were able to contribute more to other aspects of life.
For my husband and I, this is exactly it. Our careers are not really conducive to having kids, but they are still critically important jobs that have to be done by someone. We’re looking forward to being the fun Auntie and Uncle to my sister-in-law’s kids, and that’s plenty for us.
I’m glad you brought this up as there are people I know who I think are sad that they didn’t have kids when all their friends do, but I think it’s important to point out that all of them don’t regret their decision, they love their lives and freedom and have spent a long time traveling even with jobs that don’t normally allow that much flexibility, I think people in the comments are being too harsh on you but there’s really not that many people in the world missing out. There’s no one who didn’t have kids because they are unmotivated or lazy; and hell, if they are then maybe they shouldn’t have kids.
Because many childless middle aged people regret not having kids. Without kids, what the big thing going on in your life? A mediocre career, a small luxury every now and again? Picking up hobby after hobby, trying to fill a hole that just refuses to be filled by distractions?
Life becomes a book without a plot.
They see themselves in you, you making the aame mistakes they made. And they want to keep the cycle from repeating.
And plenty of young parents have regrets having kids, because they miss out on so much of living for themselves. Not everyone is fit to be a parent, not everyone regrets not having kids, and the way certain people push others to have kids is not done well.
Sharing your personal regrets and experiences of waiting too long to be a parent, while understanding they might not have the same experience; that’s fine.
Telling someone they’re making a mistake and they’re wasting their life or losing time; not fine.
Edit: also, I say this as a parent. I have yet to find a legitimate argument for having kids that isn’t based (at least partially) on being selfish. Your comment argues that it enriches the life of the parent. But I think that’s a bad reason to have a kid, it’s inherently selfish. People who view having kids the same way won’t want kids, especially when they understand how fucked up the world is that they’d be bringing their kid into.
Yeah (expanding on your Edit), having kids to “enrich your life” is the same rationalle as one would use get a puppy.
Everyone knows kids can save your failing marriage /s
Because many middle aged parents regret having kids. With kids, how can you do anything with your life? A career you hate but can’t leave because you have mouths to feed. Not being able to have any hobbies because between work and sleep all your time is consumed with your kid’s hobbies.
Everyone regrets the choices not taken. I regret having picked college over a paying job, my dad regrets not enlisting and becoming a sniper, my mom regretted not picking a career in math… everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
I couldn’t imagine regretting that I had a child. That sounds like someone who abuses or neglects their child. If you are pregnant and don’t want a child, either get an abortion (if you can) or put it up for adoption. You can’t be forced to raise a child.
Thankfully, we just need to show those people your parents, and they’ll be perfectly happy being childless again.
Well that was just uncalled for.
If you don’t want people to be angry at you: don’t make sanctimonious proclamations that insist that your viewpoint on an extremely personal and complex matter is the only correct view for some reason. I’m one of those people that will never have children and your condescending remarks on my life choices are quite unwelcome and lead me to have a rather uncharitable opinion of you.
I don’t do it myself, I just know the thought process here.
Don’t pretend you never saw someone making a bad mistake and wanted to say something
Choosing not to have children is not “a bad mistake”. It’s not a “mistake” at all. It’s a personal choice that you have no reason to weigh in on and you would do well to keep your opinion to yourself. The issue here is not that you are weighing in on a mistake, it’s that you’re assuming that someone’s personal choices and autonomy are a mistake.
Sure, and a lot of people don’t regret it. But a lot of people do, and to those people it was a massive mistake.
It is possible to see from another’s point of view.
But what’s a lot? You say “a lot” for regret and “a lot” for not regretting. I’m not really sure it can be “a lot” in both cases.
It is possible to see another point of view, but your original comment is hardly showing multiple view points. It comes off as if you’re saying everyone who doesn’t have children will regret not doing so.
I know plenty of couples who don’t want kids and who are self aware enough that they would not make good parents. They’re still good people, but they wouldn’t have the patience or resources to care for a child. And that’s ok. Even one or two generations ago, they would have been heavily pressured to have children.
That’s part of where the pushback against your comment comes from, the societal push that everyone has to pair off and everyone has to have children. It’s not necessary for survival now and there is the theory that it wasn’t necessary hundreds of years ago either. The childless actually helped care for the children of the group and were able to contribute more to other aspects of life.
For my husband and I, this is exactly it. Our careers are not really conducive to having kids, but they are still critically important jobs that have to be done by someone. We’re looking forward to being the fun Auntie and Uncle to my sister-in-law’s kids, and that’s plenty for us.
Are you sponsored by Caterpillar or something? Because you just keep digging.
Take your paternalistic bullshit and go regret your own life choices away from everyone else.
Was that your reaction to my comment or your parents’ reaction to you?
So was your comment.
Just chill they’re just saying their opinion
Hey it’s the guy from the meme
Neat! 📸
They can always adopt…
I’m glad you brought this up as there are people I know who I think are sad that they didn’t have kids when all their friends do, but I think it’s important to point out that all of them don’t regret their decision, they love their lives and freedom and have spent a long time traveling even with jobs that don’t normally allow that much flexibility, I think people in the comments are being too harsh on you but there’s really not that many people in the world missing out. There’s no one who didn’t have kids because they are unmotivated or lazy; and hell, if they are then maybe they shouldn’t have kids.
You mean like a slice of life series?
Its one thing to be aimless in high school, its another to be aimless your whole life.
So, like a slice of life series with adult protagonists?
Why must a life have any aim?