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You certainly are showing traits consistent with narcissism. You might want to consider looking up and practicing strategies to better manage that, as you really don’t come off smelling like roses from the posted interaction.
In fact, it’s paints a bad enough picture to throw all of your posts into question.
Can you try analysing the interaction without letting your disdain for people who have neurodivergent manners of speech influence you? Try looking at the actual meanings of the words instead of focusing on how a disabled person says them.
As being trained in communicating with neurodivergent people and interacting with them daily, I feel confident of both my read of your comments and that my response should be legible to you.
However, neither narcissism nor transexuality is a neurodivergence. And none of them are an excuse for the unreasonable behavior you’re consistently exhibiting.
Again, find better strategies to cope with your needs, you’re coming off as a troll; finding new things to be upset about in every interaction.
The behaviour I’m exhibiting is firm personal boundaries, strong conflict resolution skills, honesty and integrity, and nuanced approaches to disagreements. You can see all of those in the post.
I didn’t take it when this mod blamed their interpretation of my comment on me. I firmly and politely explained their misunderstanding with plenty of reasons.
I suggested defusing the conflict multiple times and reminded them that they could walk away, even while they were insulting me.
I gave them chances to grow by being direct about what they were doing wrong, without getting mean about it until the point they used violence.
I empathised with their point of view and didn’t get mad even when they used a slur. I gently directed them towards understanding that it’s bad to insult people for being disabled instead.
What you and your trusted people deem gentle is interpreted in a different way here on Lemmy, by multiple people, at multiple occasions (as evidenced by both detailed feedback in this post, as well as downvotes).
At least one of your feedback systems is ineffective, and you might find it useful to develop a more suitable way to convey or pick up context cues, or both, here. If you believe this is due to neurodivergent challenges, there are excellent groups here on Lemmy where you can both practice, and get inspired by others’ strategies.
Beyond that there are resources available both on the Internet, as well as at your local psychologist or support community. I remind you that practicing to get better takes effort, and effort is always easier to sustain as part of a supportive context. Don’t set off on changing anything until you have a safe space to recover in as well as to catch you if you ever get frustrated or stuck.
I do however believe it will be a skill that will serve you well, and for the rest of your life, and as such might be worth the effort.
I already learned how to mask when I got my autism diagnosis. After a few months of practicing, everyone got along with me much better, and I wanted to kill myself.
I am not suggesting masking, I’m suggesting finding useful and effective tools and strategies. Masking might have been useful in the short run, but as you mention - it is unsustainable.
There are plenty of ways that don’t require it, but they are somewhat culture and context specific, as well as require some care and support to make sure you’re not accidentally masking.
A psychologist or other trained specialist might be very useful to figure out a more sustainable way for this and related situations (if you feel you only have unsustainable strategies in a particular domain, they can help). Your support network might also be able to help, and I warmly recommend finding other neurodivergents to share camaraderie and experience how many ways there are to both be more of yourself, and a more effective communicator.
For many neurodivergents, finding a community of like minded is both freeing - as your peers are both conscious and practiced not to mask, and helpful - as you get to witness and discuss many different strategies, as well as how they can be adapted to different personalities. Correctly done, it is also a great way to improve your self-reliance.
Again, maybe a start would be to have a look at the neurodivergent comms here on the fediverse (as they will have experience with Lemmy situations), but feel free to find a group/groups suited to you, online or offline.
You certainly are showing traits consistent with narcissism. You might want to consider looking up and practicing strategies to better manage that, as you really don’t come off smelling like roses from the posted interaction.
In fact, it’s paints a bad enough picture to throw all of your posts into question.
Can you try analysing the interaction without letting your disdain for people who have neurodivergent manners of speech influence you? Try looking at the actual meanings of the words instead of focusing on how a disabled person says them.
As being trained in communicating with neurodivergent people and interacting with them daily, I feel confident of both my read of your comments and that my response should be legible to you.
However, neither narcissism nor transexuality is a neurodivergence. And none of them are an excuse for the unreasonable behavior you’re consistently exhibiting.
Again, find better strategies to cope with your needs, you’re coming off as a troll; finding new things to be upset about in every interaction.
The behaviour I’m exhibiting is firm personal boundaries, strong conflict resolution skills, honesty and integrity, and nuanced approaches to disagreements. You can see all of those in the post.
I didn’t take it when this mod blamed their interpretation of my comment on me. I firmly and politely explained their misunderstanding with plenty of reasons.
I suggested defusing the conflict multiple times and reminded them that they could walk away, even while they were insulting me.
I gave them chances to grow by being direct about what they were doing wrong, without getting mean about it until the point they used violence.
I empathised with their point of view and didn’t get mad even when they used a slur. I gently directed them towards understanding that it’s bad to insult people for being disabled instead.
You should probably check those interpretations with a person you trust.
I checked with multiple people I trust. They all have no idea why people are so aggressive with me when I’m being so gentle.
Then what remains is a difference of norms.
What you and your trusted people deem gentle is interpreted in a different way here on Lemmy, by multiple people, at multiple occasions (as evidenced by both detailed feedback in this post, as well as downvotes).
At least one of your feedback systems is ineffective, and you might find it useful to develop a more suitable way to convey or pick up context cues, or both, here. If you believe this is due to neurodivergent challenges, there are excellent groups here on Lemmy where you can both practice, and get inspired by others’ strategies.
Beyond that there are resources available both on the Internet, as well as at your local psychologist or support community. I remind you that practicing to get better takes effort, and effort is always easier to sustain as part of a supportive context. Don’t set off on changing anything until you have a safe space to recover in as well as to catch you if you ever get frustrated or stuck.
I do however believe it will be a skill that will serve you well, and for the rest of your life, and as such might be worth the effort.
Best of luck!
I already learned how to mask when I got my autism diagnosis. After a few months of practicing, everyone got along with me much better, and I wanted to kill myself.
I am not suggesting masking, I’m suggesting finding useful and effective tools and strategies. Masking might have been useful in the short run, but as you mention - it is unsustainable.
There are plenty of ways that don’t require it, but they are somewhat culture and context specific, as well as require some care and support to make sure you’re not accidentally masking.
A psychologist or other trained specialist might be very useful to figure out a more sustainable way for this and related situations (if you feel you only have unsustainable strategies in a particular domain, they can help). Your support network might also be able to help, and I warmly recommend finding other neurodivergents to share camaraderie and experience how many ways there are to both be more of yourself, and a more effective communicator.
For many neurodivergents, finding a community of like minded is both freeing - as your peers are both conscious and practiced not to mask, and helpful - as you get to witness and discuss many different strategies, as well as how they can be adapted to different personalities. Correctly done, it is also a great way to improve your self-reliance.
Again, maybe a start would be to have a look at the neurodivergent comms here on the fediverse (as they will have experience with Lemmy situations), but feel free to find a group/groups suited to you, online or offline.