Isn’t the entire point of the profile and matching system to filter incompatible people out? Why can I match with 50 people and not a single one wants to get a coffee or something after exchanging a few pleasantries? Everybody hates these things and yet they refuse to do anything IRL to get off them. Is there some Manchurian candidate activation codeword that I’m missing? I feel like everyone treats this shit solely as an ego booster and actually gets pissed off that anyone tries to interact with them. How do you meet people in hellworld if you don’t drink?

Me after dozens of dead-end back-and-forths that lead to nowhere despite having shared interests and presumably being attracted to each other since we matched: marx-joker

Hmm, maybe it’s the extreme commodification of relationships and atomization under capitalism that prevents you from getting anywhere with this garbage thinkin-lenin

Nope, must be because @SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net didn’t say my favorite “The Office” quote and send me a playlist with 50 of the greatest songs I’ve never heard that made me instantly fall in love with them. I have no idea what other people expect from these things but I’m not doing labor for someone that I don’t even know is real. Thanks for reading my rant, any advice is appreciated.

  • ThereRisesARedStar [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    I just wish a) people would hit on me and I would know it (there is this person who I am attracted to who keeps complimenting my outfits but especially my dresses and yesterday did some incidental body contact over the duration of an activity we were doing as a group of friends, I am choosing to interpret this as me reading into things because it feels ambiguous and I’d prefer to have a friend than risk losing a friend for the possibility of some other sort of relationship) or b) that I’d be able to distinguish between internalized homophobia and transphobia telling me not to be predatory in situations where it is genuinely okay and/or welcome to express interest in people and when it genuinely wouldn’t be appropriate to express interest in people.

    I’m currently seriously dating someone right now but I miss seeing new folks, and I miss having sex with people that I care about but am not in a romantic relationship with.

    For a long time I just wished that there was a medium for me to meet new people that I could sleep around with, but at this point I’m kinda accepting that at this stage of my life that isnt my problem, my problem is that I’m too burnt out to fix the internalized stuff, and because of the fluid nature of social expectations and my autistic ass just knowing the appropriate rules seems unreasonable outside of gay bars and dungeon parties, none of which take covid seriously.

    Alternatively people could stop projecting predatory shit onto transfemmes and I could worry more about coming across as awkward and worry less about being beaten up or socially ostracized for being read as creepy. Or pigs could fly.

    I wish there was flagging for “be overt as possible if you are flirting with me”

    • Rolder@reddthat.com
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      9 months ago

      Society teaches us that randomly hitting on people is generally in poor taste and looked down upon. I’d expect that’s why it doesn’t happen as often

        • CthulhusIntern [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          9 months ago

          Throwing the baby out with the bathwater also makes people more miserable in the not-harassing way, because without that practice, people don’t know how to respectfully make advances, and people also don’t know how to respectfully but clearly turn down advances, and still have a healthy view of the person, which puts even more people on the apps.