Isn’t the entire point of the profile and matching system to filter incompatible people out? Why can I match with 50 people and not a single one wants to get a coffee or something after exchanging a few pleasantries? Everybody hates these things and yet they refuse to do anything IRL to get off them. Is there some Manchurian candidate activation codeword that I’m missing? I feel like everyone treats this shit solely as an ego booster and actually gets pissed off that anyone tries to interact with them. How do you meet people in hellworld if you don’t drink?
Me after dozens of dead-end back-and-forths that lead to nowhere despite having shared interests and presumably being attracted to each other since we matched: 
Hmm, maybe it’s the extreme commodification of relationships and atomization under capitalism that prevents you from getting anywhere with this garbage 
Nope, must be because @SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net didn’t say my favorite “The Office” quote and send me a playlist with 50 of the greatest songs I’ve never heard that made me instantly fall in love with them. I have no idea what other people expect from these things but I’m not doing labor for someone that I don’t even know is real. Thanks for reading my rant, any advice is appreciated.
Dating apps have undergone enshittification just as much as any other social media platform. Even the ones that started with relatively good intentions and helpful mechanisms have, as they’ve dialed in toward profitability, made it harder and harder to actually discharge their supposed purpose. They’re designed not just to keep you on the hook, but to entice you toward paying for premium features. I had some success on really niche online dating platforms back in the early 2010s, but all the ones that were actually good for meeting people have gone under in the last decade. The ones that are still here are, by definition, the ones that are making enough money to stick around; they don’t do that by getting people off the platform.
As most other people here have said, the best way to meet people (either friends or romantic partners) is to volunteer or actively participate in an IRL hobby. Those are good because anyone you meet doing those things is someone you are guaranteed to have something meaningful in common with. Get involved with stuff you’re passionate about. I know that’s easier said than done for a lot of people, but I really do think pretty much everyone is much more likely to find success doing that than scrolling Tinder. I met my wife volunteering for an org that we both care about deeply, and it served as both a litmus test for character (we both knew that someone involved in this org had to at least have some redeeming qualities) and an immediate bonding point.
That’s the thing though. I’m just not passionate about anything.
that can be a symptom of clinical depression
if it’s possible for you, it might be worth getting checked
untreated depression is very much not good
Second this. You’ll be much more likely to find and make good relationships if you’re in a decent place mentally. It isn’t possible for everyone to deal with stuff like this because we live in Hell world, but if you can, it might be something worth exploring.
Do things that you’re not passionate about. Passions develop later. I’ve done things on a whim that only later turned into life-long loves.
then explore hobbies until you find something you’re interested in
You’re here, so you’re likely passionate about leftism to some degree or another. Have you thought about volunteering around that? I know it’s a hard barrier to overcome, especially if you’re introverted, but it’s pretty rewarding in a number of different ways.
Yeah I am, not sure where to look for orgs though. I’d definitely feel awkward though, especially since my family is so conservative. I guess it wouldnt necessarily have to be a political group though.
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