I commented on raven@hexbear.net 's comment recently, but screenshots aren’t working on this sublemmy right now (maybe because it’s new), so I’m gonna textpost it here:
raven [he/him] English 9 • I disagree with that. I never saw what I understood as a bad faith argument. It bordered on some things that might sound like reactionary points but I think it was just a little confused, maybe had a hard time explaining things on account of being neurodivergent and perhaps didn’t fully understand them in the first place. You just had to get deeeeeeep in the weeds with it to try to figure out what the fuck it was talking about. There were a lot of claims that things are a certain way, and then that thing being referenced out of context later elsewhere and you had to refer back to the whole history of the user to figure out what was going on. Maybe it needed a user to ride along and translate for it lol
combat_brandonism [they/them] English 12 • “If you use they/them…you’ll never gender someone correctly.”
Explain how that’s not reactionary.
raven [he/him] English 1 • I’m going to need the context there because that doesn’t sound like something dronerights would have said.
DroneRights [it/its] English 1 • I said it. It was in the context of using they/them who have clearly stated pronoun preferences that aren’t they/them.
Here’s the nuance: If you call someone who uses they/them they/them, then you are REFERRING to them correctly, but you’re not GENDERING them correctly, because you aren’t gendering them at all. You’re referring to them neutrally, which is the correct way to refer to someone who wants to be referred to neutrally.
We live in a world where it is the norm for cis men, and often other identities, to objectify anyone with a femme component to their identity. Instead of being a Reddit lawyer you should give a shit about that and want to be sensitive about it.
You think I, a femme enby, should “give a shit” about objectification of my own gender? I already do, and that’s why I have thia username. Now:
Do you think a public affirmation of attraction to fat people is inherently fetishising?
You have one more chance to answer this question before I assume the answer is yes and ban you.
Your username is guaranteed to make a fair number of femme enbies feel uncomfortable and objectified. You have shown absolutely no concern about this at all.
Inherently?? No but that’s obviously not the fucking issue issue here. Yeah, you can do it in a non-objectifying way, but you didn’t. Your reddit “pm me your tits”-style username does come across as objectifying.
It’s disingenuous to reframe my criticism of your specific username as a blanket criticism of any public statement of attraction to fat people in any context.
Okay, tell me a Lemmy username that I could have used to be open about my gayness, affirm that fat enbies are attractive, and make sure it’s lighthearted and not too serious. If you can come up with a username affirms attraction to fat people and doesn’t meet your standard of a chaser username, then I’ll believe you don’t think all pro-fat names are chaser names. But if you can’t do it, then I’m going to assume that no matter what pro-fat username I had picked, you straight-sized people would have butted into my gender to mainsplain my own oppression to me and ignore the actual queer person standing in front of you.
This is more weird sleight of hand. No, I don’t actually need to do that. My criticism would still be valid even if I concluded that no such username existed. Coming up with a clearly non-objectifying username that expresses your physical attraction to [any group] is hard, because it’s a fucking username. There’s no room for qualifiers or clarification, or anything but a bare expression of attraction. We’re on the internet, sex pests are the norm, it’s hard to get around that.
that said, you could do something like body_acceptance, or maybe fat_is_beautiful — although with that one some users might still expect to get a dick pic from you.
So you’re saying all usernames which affirm that I’m gay and I’m proud would be taken as chaser-y, and thus that you’re opposed to me having any username about my gayness. And you think you’re not a homophobe.
Your username did not affirm that. No one who sees it knows anything about you. This is a ridiculous bad faith response after a series of them, and I’m starting to not feel the need to rebut what you’re saying anymore.
To clarify, it’s not bad faith for the reason I gave in the first two sentences. It’s bad faith because, one, the entire “pick my username or you’re a bigot” conceit is completely absurd, and two, nothing I’ve said can be construed as homophobic by any reasonable argument and it’s at the point where I think even you yourself must see this.