A big issue here is that a lot of these guys don’t see “opportunities to make friends”, they see “opportunities to find(land/score/get) a girlfriend”. And that’s going to cripple their social life. I’m mid-30’s now, but during my dating days it was a pretty annoying when guys came to my hobbies purely for dating. Even a couple who would have been great friends, absolutely ruined it by taking the “I need a girlfriend” route.
Step 1: Be happy with yourself
Step 2: Be happy with friends
Step 3: Be happy with a partner.
It doesn’t start at step 3, but a lot of people seem to think that’s the very foundation of everything.
What you said is pretty true, it takes a good mindset to realize a girlfriend isn’t going to change your life, and it doesn’t feel great for the people you’re expecting to fix everything.
I’d only want to add that even if someone is unhappy with themselves, the friends they make doing stuff they like can guide them to being a happier person, or they can at least be lonely together.
A big issue here is that a lot of these guys don’t see “opportunities to make friends”, they see “opportunities to find(land/score/get) a girlfriend”. And that’s going to cripple their social life. I’m mid-30’s now, but during my dating days it was a pretty annoying when guys came to my hobbies purely for dating. Even a couple who would have been great friends, absolutely ruined it by taking the “I need a girlfriend” route.
Step 1: Be happy with yourself Step 2: Be happy with friends Step 3: Be happy with a partner.
It doesn’t start at step 3, but a lot of people seem to think that’s the very foundation of everything.
What you said is pretty true, it takes a good mindset to realize a girlfriend isn’t going to change your life, and it doesn’t feel great for the people you’re expecting to fix everything.
I’d only want to add that even if someone is unhappy with themselves, the friends they make doing stuff they like can guide them to being a happier person, or they can at least be lonely together.