I’m curious because I noticed the medication I’m currently on helps me emotionally regulate myself but doesn’t prevent me from thinking about how it still sucks.
I’m trying my damndest to reframe how I think about things. God is it hard though 😮💨
I’m curious because I noticed the medication I’m currently on helps me emotionally regulate myself but doesn’t prevent me from thinking about how it still sucks.
I’m trying my damndest to reframe how I think about things. God is it hard though 😮💨
It gets easier to manage, but the RSD makes rejection feel like a knife through the heart every time for me. Failing makes me feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach. This shit is incredibly nasty and it’s prevented me from forming relationships to the point that I don’t think I really know how to anymore.
I’ve been working on myself for years now, learning to manage my feelings and my expectations of other people. For a long time my way of “managing” it was just expecting rejection to happen eventually. That could also be my fear of abandonment, though (which I got from being abandoned so often). I still expect punishment and cruelty every time I’m addressed and I don’t expect to be. I don’t really try to talk to people very much. I’m still struggling and recently the loneliness has become more powerful than the fear of rejection, and pushed me to get out there and try to meet people despite the crippling emotional pain it causes me. I’m getting better at dealing with it, moving on, and allowing myself to try again.
Just wish I know how to discern whether or not I could trust people. It feels like rolling dice every time.
It’s such a catch 22. I feel so stuck and feel like I know exactly why this is, but I am still having so much trouble “breaking out”
I also feel like things became demonstrably worse when my apartment lease ended and I moved in with my parents. I am now living in the suburbs (albeit rent free) but it’s really making me rethink whether I’m in the position to the best human I can be