• SuperDuper
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    5 months ago

    Photoshop? I get my paycheck direct deposited and access the paystub via workday. I can just straight up use developer tools to make my pay whatever it needs to be (on paper, at least).

  • Seraph
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    5 months ago

    The crime of Forgery is what makes it less possible for me.

  • Jo Miran
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    345 months ago

    Seriously. Lie on your resume. We expect it. All we care about is that when the time comes, you can do the job.

    Source: IT business owner for 25 years who lied like a motherfucker in his resume when necessary.

    • Cyrus Draegur
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      205 months ago

      PRECISELY FUCKING REAL.

      Employers only actually care about three things:

      • punctuality: you are on time every time (and if anything is impeding your punctuality, you’re calling ahead as soon as you are aware)
      • pliability: you follow directions (and if you have trouble, you’ll openly and plainly ask for instruction and clarification)
      • predictability: you do not cause drama or make waves (and if anything disruptive DOES occur, you’ll document it)

      everything else can be trained,
      if you satisfy these three prerequisites, you can almost always be trained, and,
      if you don’t satisfy these three prerequisites, you’re probably not trainable at all.

      • @rockSlayer@lemmy.world
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        295 months ago

        predictability: you do not cause drama or make waves (and if anything disruptive DOES occur, you’ll document it)

        remember kids, lie to the recruiter about your union sentiments so you can get hired and form a union.

        • Cyrus Draegur
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          85 months ago

          TRUE!!!

          I’m not saying don’t HAVE important shit going on in your life -
          I’m saying, be strategic about your deployment of shit.

          Any and all union communications should be done where managers can’t spy on you and have no power to fuck with you via legal “technicalities”.

      • Jo Miran
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        5 months ago

        A caveat to this is that the person needs to be trainable. There are plenty of people that just can’t absorb and process information, either at all or just quickly enough to not be an impediment to the rest of the team.

        Also, if you don’t know, and you said you did, make a great effort to know before you are needed to know.

    • lad
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      45 months ago

      This is true but it only leads to an ever escalating circle of lies, HR would add random bullshit to the résumé that is not really required, the applicant will say that they know it all, HR would add even more, etc. This is not even enraging, it’s sad 😞 I wish there was a possibility to actually tell apart what is required and what is not when I apply to a position

      • Jo Miran
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        45 months ago

        First, if you’re not comfortable doing the work, don’t add it to the resume. Ultimately you are curating your career and your resume, and fake experience, need to reflect that trajectory.

        Second, HR is not allowed to add random garbage to the req. In my companies, that would get you fired on the spot. If you come across a company that does that, then you came across a company to avoid. What’s listed in the req is what the manager thinks they’ll need, which doesn’t mean it’ll always be correct. The req should also list the requirements in descending order of importance. A inexperienced manager might not do that at first, but after being flooded with resumes that prioritize skills that weren’t actually that important, they start to adjust the job listing.

        • lad
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          25 months ago

          The point about skills listed in order of importance is one I’ll surely have in mind from now on, thank you. But if it is not stated anywhere it might be a wrong assumption as you pointed out.

          Ok, I was a bit vague, what I meant is rather that HR will list everything from “absolutely necessary” to “an interesting skill if you have it” under the requirements. The nice to have part is good, but do not always get treated the way it should.

          I really would not like to fake experience in order to get somewhere to work on something. Sometimes there are positions that clearly differentiate what job needs to be done and what you need to know, those are not always the same things. So to summarize I rant about things being opaque more than things being messy, this really complicates things, especially when you get used to a specific culture and then move to another one.

          • Jo Miran
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            35 months ago

            Your main job is to further your career. If you’re interested in a skill your choices are to convince your employer to engage in a project that requires that skill or train yourself and lie about your experience. My experience is in tech but both my wife and I started in finance. It was very clear that with our degrees we would achieve nothing so I put my PC skills and my piracy know how to work. I built our first home lab then and we’ve had one ever since. Even to this day we spin up proof of concept environments to “hands-on” and learn how certain products behave and interact. The point is that none of that shows well on a resume but your ability to speak on the subject does show during an interview. The resume is there just to get you to the interview, nothing more. If you have the know-how but not the corporate experience, lie.

            PS: Your employer will only give you a limited set of use cases for your skills or desired skills. You should always expand that on your own. It’ll make you more marketable than the competition.

            • lad
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              15 months ago

              Yeah, the “lie about what you did, but only if have that experience firsthand” sounds much better strategy to follow, thanks for the explanation

  • Zyratoxx
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    45 months ago

    But who stole the land first?

      • Zyratoxx
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        35 months ago

        Oh well then, praise the (land-) lord!