I just googled, ‘how to make Danish people like you.’ Any tip is highly appreciated.
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The original was posted on /r/denmark by /u/pamonhas at 2023-12-09 01:34:33+00:00. Original Title: I’m going to Denmark for the first time in my life, and I have to work with a Danish team doing something quite stressful. What should/shouldn’t I do to make a good impression, and maybe-even-hopefully, friends?
TurtleneckTrump at 2023-12-09 08:47:19+00:00 ID:
kcm1u1i
Don’t expect to make friends at work, and don’t be sad if they don’t want to hang out after work. I’m not saying you can’t, but it’s very uncommon in Denmark
pamonhas (OP) at 2023-12-09 16:54:19+00:00 ID:
kcngsw0
Where do adults make friends if not at work?
SpringrollJack at 2023-12-09 22:32:40+00:00 ID:
kcoz279
As a danish adult I don’t know either
TurtleneckTrump at 2023-12-09 17:09:19+00:00 ID:
kcnj78j
Everywhere else pretty much? Sports, hobbies, bars, travels, parents of your kids friends if you have any
SpringrollJack at 2023-12-09 22:32:59+00:00 ID:
kcoz3tu
Who tf makes friends at bars??
TurtleneckTrump at 2023-12-10 00:09:35+00:00 ID:
kcpd4zc
I have one friend i legit met at a bar, and i’m akward af
SerialSpice at 2023-12-09 18:34:25+00:00 ID:
kcnwsp1
We join a club. Like a soccer/football club or whatever your hobby might be. The social/free time club is where we primarily meet friends.
quantum-fitness at 2023-12-09 16:46:30+00:00 ID:
kcnfjum
If you want to make friends with them you likely need to geg drunk with them else you have to work on it for long.
RealFakeLlama at 2023-12-09 07:39:25+00:00 ID:
kclwwn1
There are a few things we consider taboo to talk about. Your religion, that is just a personal matter… And last i checked only 25% actualy believe in a higher power here. Your salary, epsecualy if its high (its part of the Jantelov, its not cool to appear to brag and seem like you are better than the others. We are very egalitarian here).
Friendships. We are a friendly bunch… but, we are very private. Getting past that ‘this dude/dudette is fun to spend the work break with’ into a friendship is hard, and the dane you are trying to befriend might not dare take the next step because we realy dont wanna bother each other… And going from ‘break buddies’ to friends is… we are not very good at it, bevause we realy value our private life. But do do it, ask the buddy if they wanna grap a post work beer or coffe, when you have done that one or two times you can be the foreigner who just dont quite know the danish ‘stay out of each others private life’ and just invite them home for dinner and fasttrack that into a Friendship.
Friendships and dinner. For dinner, we meet at around 17-18, talk a bit, maybe have a beer/drink. Then eat the dinner. And then sit down and talk and ‘hygge’, leaving just after eating is seen as ‘i want the food, not your companie’. Its its a workday next day, you can leave early like between 21 and 22. If its not, stay at least till 22 but its not uncommon to leave even later. Yes, drinking wine/beer is very normal, but we respect ppls choises to not drink (especialy if you drive your car home). It is expected that you drink something ells with ppl thou, Coke or the or coffe or something, it will weird the poor dane out of you just sit there like a madman and not consune anything.
About danes: we have a high trust in each other. We generaly believe whoever we meet outside on work/the street dont mean us no harm. And we like it that way. The ‘danish system’/'scandinavian system is not perfect, but we are safe generaly and well off all around and we are proud of that. Because we are all equal here, we believe we are quite safe.
pamonhas (OP) at 2023-12-09 16:45:01+00:00 ID:
kcnfb5v
This is very informative, thank you!
AccomplishedAd8286 at 2023-12-09 19:47:11+00:00 ID:
kco8slf
So if you drink coffee, beer and eat porkskind (flæskesvær) then we know we can trust you, else you are a stranger to us for all eternal time
PseudoVanilla at 2023-12-09 08:19:51+00:00 ID:
kclzvi5
Show up on time for your appointments.
MgrOfOffPlanetOps at 2023-12-09 07:56:59+00:00 ID:
kcly7ni
Give trust and live up to the trust given. Be honest.
InvertReverse at 2023-12-09 08:34:10+00:00 ID:
kcm0wqj
You’re allowed to make mistakes at work, but you have to own them. No one will think less of you for not being perfect, but will hate you if you don’t take responsibility.
JoeThePoolGuy123 at 2023-12-09 09:52:47+00:00 ID:
kcm6ez4
Invite everyone put for beers on the last day. And ask everyone on the second to last if they want to come.
Osteogenesis888 at 2023-12-09 09:42:52+00:00 ID:
kcm5qil
You need to establish respect.
It’s prison rules here. On your first day, find the biggest person, or the person obviously in charge, and challenge them to a fight. We’ll respect your will to fight, regardless of of whether or not you win.
pamonhas (OP) at 2023-12-09 16:55:09+00:00 ID:
kcngxk9
I’ll make sure to polish my weapons before my trip.
Novachey at 2023-12-09 11:02:24+00:00 ID:
kcmbckk
I think Robetrotters on YouTube have some pretty good videos about life, culture and history of Denmark!
Corporal_Ginger at 2023-12-09 11:19:17+00:00 ID:
kcmclj1
If you have any hobbies, we have an excellent system of clubs here. If you like sports there is a big chance you will find a club in you local municipality, and if more obscure sport within 100km. Same with stuff like boardgames, fishing, cooking and so on.
Dont put more on your plate then you can eat.
When a dane proudly shows of their new gadget, dont ask if you can buy it of them cheap. (Mostly eastern europeans I have seen this from. Why would I pay 5000kr for something yesterday to sell it to you for 2000kr today?)
Many danes can be a bit conservative when it comes to trying new food, but we are getting better.
When you get closer to people there is a chance they will make you try danish specialities. Like “ristet hotdog med det hele”, “hvidtøl”, “saltlakrids” or “rygeost”. (hotdog with toppings, sweet low alcoholic beer, salmiac liquorice and smoked soft cheese). Play along. There is a slight chance you might like one of them.
And welcome to Denmark.
pamonhas (OP) at 2023-12-09 16:57:29+00:00 ID:
kcnhay6
I love trying new foods and specialties so absolutely! Very much looking forward to it.
Electrical-Oil-9546 at 2023-12-09 12:14:27+00:00 ID:
kcmgxjv
Impress them by riciting the lyrics from this song:
De Nattergale - uha da da
Corporal_Ginger at 2023-12-09 16:59:50+00:00 ID:
kcnhoq1
If you want something to talk to danes about, try watching the TV-series Matador (Means a tycoon, not a bullfighter), almost all danes at seen it and it gives some history from 1920s to the years after WWII.
Bribbe at 2023-12-09 13:58:46+00:00 ID:
kcmrjpd
Dont lie and be honest. Then you will be good. And learn to say no to alcohol if you dont feed like it.
Several-berries at 2023-12-09 14:51:27+00:00 ID:
kcmyg8b
Danes can seem VERY direct to other nationalities, especially Germans and Brits who are not direct in their speech. Don’t get offended by constructive criticism or general complaints about projects. Danes will say “I don’t like this” while brits would have made a whole speech about “this is excellent but”
drivebydryhumper at 2023-12-09 03:00:15+00:00 ID:
kcl5yg3
Be chill, but not too chill. Speak up when you need to.