ive lost my faith, alot of my childhood was built on lies, went to church every sunday not for religion but for schooling (me going to church meant i could go to a private religious school), while my dad said he was catholic but cheated, did indecent things, i actually was catholic, although was never baptized, my dad had lied to the church about that too, i am now an adult and with a confusing passed i chose to move from religion. i am now coming to a point in my life where i feel like reconnecting.
where do i start, how can i find a community. even preying feel disingenuous.
You’re not alone - happens all the time. People can always let us down be they in our family, church, etc., and that makes it harder for sure but there is nothing disingenuous about coming to God as you are or asking the Church for help getting caught up on anything you may have missed out on spiritually. Go to Masstimes.org and you can quickly find Catholic parishes in your geographical area. Visitors are always welcome at every parish (just fold your arms across your shoulders at communion to receive a blessing until you’ve been baptized etc, since baptism is the first sacrament), so visit as many as you like, but I suggest starting with the nearest one geographically since in principle each parish priest is responsible for a geographical area. If you are comfortable doing so, call the office and ask if there is a time when you might meet with the priest or another member of the pastoral staff, simply explaining that while you attended Catholic Sunday school as a kid, you aren’t sure if you were ever baptized and would like to reconnect with your Catholic faith. They might invite you to attend OCIA (aka RCIA) classes which typically take place one evening during the week with those who wish to receive sacraments of initiation (such as baptism, etc) doing so at Easter in the Spring. In fact if you don’t get through quickly at the office, you might try simply showing up for one of these meetings if the times happen to be advertised in the bulletin - typically these classes have some of the most knowledgeable and welcoming people you will encounter in a parish, and a community of new/searching/inquiring individuals with whom you will feel at ease. I’ll pray that all goes well for you! Thanks for having the courage to speak up
I know you’ve had 5 months to think about this, but have you talked to a priest about your feelings? RCIA, Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults will help you learn the tenants of the faith.
