I have well meaning people at a party who are trying to describe their friend who is supposedly gender fluid but they dont really know how to talk about them? Do you just refer to gender fluid people as they/them until they tell you how they feel that day/week/whatever? Do you refer to them as what you last were calling them? Id look it up but im very drunk and i dont teuat googlr in this state lol

  • CindyTheSkull [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    14·
    6 months ago

    Either one could be ok, depending on what the person you’re talking about prefers (their preferred pronouns). But since you’re asking, it sounds like no one participating in the conversation knows what this person’s preferred pronouns are. So again, either one should probably be ok, so long as it’s made clear you all have respect for this person’s identity, even though they’re not around to specify their pronouns. They/them is probably more universal and generally accepted rather than using their assigned gender pronouns, so if they’re not there to verify, it’s likely the default to go with.

  • milistanaccount09 [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    8·
    6 months ago

    I usually go with ‘last known good pronouns’ but this is probably something where you ask the person when they’re present what they would prefer and go off that

  • MechanizedPossum [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    5·
    6 months ago

    Do you know if that person alternates between she / her and he /him, or between other sets of pronouns, depending on which gender the person is presenting as at a given time? In that case, you could alternate between both sets of pronouns in conversation when the person is not around. Or you can do what i’m doing in this reply and avoid using pronouns for the person entirely, that’s always the safest way.

    Regardless, thanks for being mindful about this!