Wasps!!! - Got a nest in the compost heap right by the back gate. Kids no doubt will find it. Also next to our bee “meadow”, so hope can only kill wasps not the bees.
Stripy little dickheads. Though, part of me admires them.
Imagine, you are presented with a fucking TITAN creature, it’s tens of thousands of times bigger than you. So, what do they do? They charge headlong at the titan’s face shouting “I’LL STAB YE WITH MY ARSE!”
I attempted to bat a wasp away with my flip-flop once and I missed. The wasp stung me on the palm of my hand and my flip-flop went sailing off the balcony when I let go of it in shock screaming “it’s fucking stung me!” The pain up my whole arm was not fun at all. That was the last time I tried to pick a fight with a stripy little dickhead.
Ouch, wasp 2 - 0 Juniper I guess! Did you manage to get your flipflop back? I’m imagining a scene where you go to retrieve it and the wasp is waiting haha.
I know this’ll sound like a tall tale, but once many years ago I had a wasp getting all up in my face, I’d just been watching boxing so without thinking I jabbed it… and punched it clean out of the air, it sat there on the floor all dazed. Weren’t expecting that, were you ya stripy little dickhead!
This is my actual nightmare, hope you can get rid of them.
A few years ago I was living in a top floor rented flat. Went to climb into bed one night and stood on something painful. I’d taken my glasses off and couldn’t immediately see what it was but imagine my horror as I stooped down, pain in my foot continuing to build, to find a dead wasp had just been lying there in wait ready for me to stand on it!
It turns out we had a wasp nest in the roof of the building, and for the next few weeks we tried in vain to get the landlord to sort something. Meanwhile despite our best efforts the wasps kept getting in, sometimes we’d find them still alive but more often dead. They started to fill the ceiling lights in the bathroom, until there was no light getting through the sheer mass of wasp corpses.
We moved out asap, naturally. When we packed up the bedroom it was spotless and a few hours later, easy to spot in the completely bare room, there were at least 10 new dead wasps strewn around the carpet.
When I say this is my nightmare, I do not exaggerate. It’s haunted me ever since.
