Research says involuntary celibate men make “fundamental errors” about what women want in a partner.

  • 2fat4that@kbin.social
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    6 months ago

    This was a well composed response but it doesn’t change the fact that nobody cares about incel mental health. And they shouldn’t because incels don’t really matter. Forget them. They are so far down the list of groups that need support it’s laughable. They are a joke and should be regarded as such. Your recognition of incels empowers them which warrants suspicion.

    Also, your faith in mental health professionals is concerning. Are you, by chance, Canadian?

    • barsoap
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      6 months ago

      They are so far down the list of groups that need support it’s laughable.

      Are you somehow thinking that “Giving incels help” means “enable them to continue being assclowns”? Because that’s the only way I can make sense of what you’re writing.

      Giving potential offenders help in the form of enabling them to form relationships which aren’t abusive is helping not just incels, but also the people they would victimise. This isn’t a zero-sum game helping them to get their shit together is a win-win scenario.

      • agitatedpotato@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Thank you. It’s not like they’re getting “special incel” mental health, its literally just normal mental health treatment that we have to find a way to get to them. Everyone here seems to think therapists are going to star talking like podcast bros, no, we just need more mental health everywhere, and that somehow pisses them off. Inhumane fucks.

        • barsoap
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          6 months ago

          Everyone here seems to think therapists are going to star talking like podcast bros, no,

          Vaguely gestures at Dr. K

          • agitatedpotato@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            Unfamiliar with him personally, and the phrase ‘podcast bro’ left a lot of vagueness so that’s on me, but in my mind when I said podcast bros I was meaning the ones who try to outright justify the maladaptive responses rather than address the root traumas, names like Tate and other unmentionables, and I hope hes a far cry from that kind of podcast since it seems hes a real psychiatrist.

            If someone wants to adopt the overall podcast style in a professional and healthy way, to me that becomes more an example of ‘meeting people where they’re at’. Which is necessary and best practice in lots of Mental Health and Social Work situations. Everyone struggling with MH deserves to be met where they are at IMO, if it was easy for everyone to just walk into a therapists office, my guess is many more would do it, and we wouldn’t see rising MH issues across almost all strata of society.

            • barsoap
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              6 months ago

              Dr. K is actually much more on the therapist than podcaster side, incels have come up but that’s because the incel topic is gamer-adjacent, not because he’d be targeting that audience, as is I doubt this kind of thing can reach the actually misogynist ones (the interviewee was involuntarily celibate but not whatever-pilled). To specifically address those going a bit undercover and looking like a Guru would probably be necessary. Something like a mixture of Dr. K’s qualifications, Vaush’s erm combativeness and Hampton’s biceps and attitude. Would be a thin line between keeping things sane and hitting notes the audience expects, maybe along the lines of “real men don’t hit women, we tickle” – I’m of a generation and place where we actually, and truly, would gang-tickle girls in our teens. Never did them any harm and I in fact got dates out of it as apparently it’s giving them a sense of security, “those guys can throw down but don’t mean me any harm”. In that context, I learned the difference between being scary (like a monster) and being intimidating (like a rollercoaster): Girls by and large like the latter but rightfully loathe the former. That kind of lesson, I think, is exactly what people who go down the incel pipeline lack.

    • agitatedpotato@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Your recognition of incels empowers them which warrants suspicion.

      Sure bud. Recognizing problems is bad, and ignoring them is how we fix them. Huge brain take. If you really need find a group to feel superior to, you do you, but I suggest therapy and a better world view as a healthy alternative. You seem more eager to let the problem perpetuate, which warrants ACTUAL suspicion.

      • shiroininja@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        it’s on them to fix themselves. not society. I’m alone, divorced, but I still don’t blame women or society. that’s the incel’s problem: lack of personal accountability, entitlement to a woman, society blaming.

        it takes two to make a relationship, and I’m tired of my fellow man being offended at having to work at having a relationship

        • Narauko@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          You sound like the barely middle class referring to the homeless. “It’s on them to fix themselves, not society. I smoked pot and drank in college, but I didn’t fall into addiction and lose my job and my home. That’s the homless’ problem: lack of personal accountability and willpower to get clean and sober and maintain a job.”

          Making substance abuse a stigma instead of recognizing it as a physical and mental health condition hasn’t helped the homeless population pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Recognizing incelism as needing mental health treatment is no different. If it’s obviously a problem, it affects society, maybe we should look at it instead of turning out noses up and pretend not to see the problems.

        • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          6 months ago

          I’m alone, divorced, but I still don’t blame women or society.

          I’ve got this everybody.

          Ahem.

          Clap

          There you go. Your one, single congratulations.

          Can you get out of the way now? Give psychologists the space to do their god damn job?

      • 2fat4that@kbin.social
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        6 months ago

        Incels aren’t a problem for regular people. They only really exist in social media which is, obviously, not real life and cannot hurt you. Unless, you want them to? Did a troll hurt your feelings? Did he call you a cunt on Tinder? Did they call you “bud” in a sassy reply? You gave them power by being so fragile and now you want to give them more recognition. 80% of incels will grow out of it. This article, and you, are validating Jordan Peterson. Congratulations, you’re an incel ally.