We know that women students and staff remain underrepresented in Higher Education STEM disciplines. Even in subjects where equivalent numbers of men and women participate, however, many women are still disadvantaged by everyday sexism. Our recent research found that women who study STEM subjects at undergraduate level in England were up to twice as likely as non-STEM students to have experienced sexism. The main perpetrators of this sexism were not university staff, however, but were men STEM degree students.

  • WeeSheep@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    The undergrad boys in STEM I swear have never met a woman aside from their mothers. No, please don’t follow me home. Please don’t buy me food because I was next to you in line. Please don’t follow me into a store so you can buy me anything I’m purchasing. You are not invited into my conversation because you think I’m pretty, even if you just want to interrupt to tell me I’m pretty and you want to take me on a date. You are not allowed to hug me and hold me as long as you want just because you want to and it feels good for you, I didn’t want a hug and I didn’t know you. It isn’t cute for you to take things from me and play keep away because you are stronger and taller, it makes you a bully.

    Teachers: please don’t ignore me when I try and participate or ask a question. I’ve gotten Cs with no explanation, no marks aside from the grade itself. When I check other’s work, theirs is written up with mistakes and they have a higher grade. Honestly that was just one teacher in an undergrad, the rest were pretty awesome, or at least not sexist.

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      My CS classes were 90% male, and every professor was male, too. They all genuinely enjoyed my participation, and it was the only environment where I wasn’t objectified or disrespected. Same with my coworkers (again 90% male) when I went into the FAANG workforce; the men were happy to see women excel in a previously male-only field.

      The general public was a different story until recently. Women were thrilled, a disturbing number of men refused to listen to me.

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        It probably depends on the university. There are definitely dregs of “incel” culture that get in but they can’t socialize and are usually left alone. In the workforce, interviews stop them from getting much further then that.

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      They probably haven’t. My experience was a lot of these guys were on the spectrum and the only social understanding of women they have is media. I would say the sexism is very malicious from the faculty, but from fellow students a lot of them this is the first time they’ve been allowed away from their helicopter parents and to begin learning social skills, sadly at your detriment.

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        Fortunately the ones who seemed socially awkward were the ones who did understand no. The majority who gave me scares were likely on the spectrum but none went too far. The ones who went too far and never respected no were definitely not on the spectrum, they were self centered and didn’t pay attention to others.

        There are plenty of men who act like boys because they have seen grace for their actions their whole lives. The result is that they cannot learn from their actions because they never learned how. They cannot understand when others don’t let them do whatever they want, and they don’t recognize consequences for their actions because they never had any. This may describe some on the spectrum but it has nothing to do with autism.

    • rottingleaf@lemmy.zip
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      I swear have never met a woman aside from their mothers

      Are they less likely to behave this way after meeting you or is this sentence the essence of how you would react to their behavior?

      (I haven’t done any of the things mentioned and they are inappropriate, but in retrospective think that maybe I should have, since being too polite and shy at the same time is apparently even less attractive, and reduces experience in communication, which is the only way one can learn to communicate.)

      • Urist@lemmy.ml
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        Just like there are lots of jerks and incels, there are lots of really nice shy guys that would make the world a better place by opening up a little more. Being brave at making contact is totally acceptable, and probably good for you, if you do it in a respectful manner. Actual nice guys should drown out the jerks that are self proclaimed nice guys by treating women, men and themselves with respect.

        • WeeSheep@lemmy.world
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          Should, yes. They don’t always. And there are still far more than enough guys (and people) who do nothing when they see women (or others) treated very poorly but men/boys. I sort of understand college and high school, everyone is exploring and unsure what’s ok, and observers may be entirely unsure what to do.

          It’s pretty common for a bunch of people to see something bad happen and everyone think someone should do something without realizing they are someone who could do something.

          • MrFunnyMoustache@lemmy.ml
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            The bystander effect is really common. I remember when I got first aid training, they told us that in an emergency, you have to tell a specific person to do something rather than ask “someone call an ambulance”.

            I think bystander effect should be regularly discussed in schools so people will be aware of it. Getting people to automatically respond and do something and offer help is a pretty important step to making our society safer and healthier.

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            So you first said they try to do/offer to do something like walk you home, buy you something, etc. and you said you don’t want that. Now here you say you want them to do something, in particular when they see something bad happening (i think you meant when they see girl treated poorly by a boy/man). That seems kind of confusing.

            • WeeSheep@lemmy.world
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              If someone wants to try making friends, it’s reasonable for them to try and start a conversation. If the person they are pursuing isn’t interested, LEAVE THEM ALONE. CONSENT IS IMPORTANT.

              If I’m screaming for help, if I’m being attacked, if I cannot defend myself, even if you see someone not respecting someone else’s consent, help the person who’s consent is not being respected. CONSENT IS IMPORTANT.

              Hope this helps.

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          In real life what “respectful manner” is becomes a matter of whether another person (and their friends) likes you or not. Sometimes retroactive.

          I don’t like this attribution of some kind of affinity to justice to “people” or “men” or “women” or whatever. “People” are a rather cruel and fallacious substance most of the time.

          Also jerks and incels may be that not entirely through their own fault. There may be wrong upbringing, or some trauma, which others consciously or unconsciously trigger, or whatever else, humans are complex and putting labels in such a way is disgusting.

          • Urist@lemmy.ml
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            Incel is an abbreviation of involuntary celibate. It is 100 % a self proclaimed title from the word “involuntary”. I am merely categorizing those that label themselves as such to be often having a distorted view on sex and women. None of this was a philosophical debate on the existence of evil and my point was clearly defined: Timid, kind people should be a little bolder. Everyone should be mindful of other people’s boundaries.

            • rottingleaf@lemmy.zip
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              Incel is an abbreviation of involuntary celibate. It is 100 % a self proclaimed title

              Only when it’s used to refer to yourself, and when you use it to refer to others, it’s not self-proclaimed.

              I am merely categorizing those that label themselves as such to be often having a distorted view on sex and women.

              Ah, so you mean literal members of that subculture. When you say “incels and jerks” it may really seem like it was used in a wider meaning. OK, I have no more questions on incels.

              Timid, kind people should be a little bolder. Everyone should be mindful of other people’s boundaries.

              And my point was that boundaries are never that clearly defined. Socialized people work with them on instinct, others can’t do that.

              In general we usually don’t see what we consider a given, and so our advice to people lacking it is useless.

              If you are wondering what’s the emotional reason of me participating in this thread (despite everything, I’ve not been an incel literally, and everyone has been a jerk), it’s the contempt for unhappy people. That it was expressed for only some of them and not all doesn’t change the essence.

              • Urist@lemmy.ml
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                Socialized people work with them on instinct, others can’t do that.

                This is a valid point. Some on the autism spectrum, for example, have difficulties due to lack of this instinct.

                And my point was that boundaries are never that clearly defined.

                This is also true, but not so much a problem. Everyone is bound to overstep at some point. However, that is most likely going to yield a negative response from the other person, and it is actually somewhat their responsibility to express this plainly. Where jerks and unaware people diverge in action is how they respond to being made aware. Say sorry and not push further and you are in the clear.

                I will admit there is a little bit of a problem with a supreme narrative based on personal experience if applied indiscriminately in every context. However, as long as it is confined to one’s own body, it is perfectly fine since everyone should have their bodily autonomy respected and thus their experience is the supreme narrative in this instance always.

                There are training one can do if one lacks social intuitition and basic rules like do not touch at spots other than briefly on shoulders etc. without consent. I have lots of sympathy for all those who struggle socially, but do not see laxing on demanding respect for others as being helpful in any way. I would also speak up if someone ridiculed a nice person for being just awkward, but that is not the issue discussed here.

                • rottingleaf@lemmy.zip
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                  Yeah, I didn’t mean anything like touching others without consent. I don’t think we disagree in anything significant.

      • WeeSheep@lemmy.world
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        I always hope people learn from their experience. I have no idea if they learned anything after interacting with me or assumed I’m some crazy female.

        • rottingleaf@lemmy.zip
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          I meant that this quote is extremely humiliating, especially to people for whom it’s true. It’s hard to learn from cruelty, even if it’s unintended.

          • CulturedLout@lemmy.ca
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            From your perspective, what was cruel? I’m interested in how different people interpret the same scenarios. What would be a more constructive way to address the situation?

            • rottingleaf@lemmy.zip
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              I assumed quite a few things. If I guessed correctly, then:

              Telling somebody that they are not good enough to talk to because of not knowing how to do that is cruel because it gives them no escape, since they can’t change their past, and can’t catch on since you won’t talk to them.

              A constructive way to address the situation would be telling them something more rude and direct, but also less humiliating, like “I didn’t ask you to do that”, “I wasn’t talking to you” or just telling them to fsck off. Just imagining what you’d say if it were a girl behaving this way and reacting accordingly.

              That quote doesn’t simply lose gender roles in conversation, it uses them to say that the other side is inferior in that regard.

              • prole@sh.itjust.works
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                Telling somebody that they are not good enough to talk to because of not knowing how to do that is cruel because it gives them no escape

                Not really… First, I don’t think they ever said that those people “weren’t good enough” to talk to. Those are your words.

                But also, there is a very obvious “escape” when you’re ignorant or uneducated about something. It’s called learning.

  • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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    Not to mention that gay STEM students are more likely to face homophobia. It was rampant at my uni. We could not keep any sort of gay-related posters up without them getting ripped off and trampled within hours. Which in retrospect is wild because there were so many of us, and more who came out years later. lol

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      Uh… aren’t gay people the only segment likely to face homophobia? Like, you can’t be homophobic to a straight person…

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        Can’t you? What about not having “girly” hobbies because that “makes you gay”? Or having to dress a certain way? I feel like straight people aren’t excluded from homophobia…

        • MrFunnyMoustache@lemmy.ml
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          100%, when I was in middle school and highschool I was regularly called gay for not liking football, or not knowing random car facts, or not liking spicy food, and other stuff like that. It was much better in university, but it was in a different region so I can’t compare directly.

          Interestingly, one of these bullies came out as gay 10 years later, which I find sad that someone had so much internalised self hatred that he had to project it outwards to feel better about himself.

          I don’t know what middle/high schools are like today since I don’t know anyone in that age range, but I bet it’s much better now with today’s internet culture being much more queer positive.

      • sir_reginald@lemmy.world
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        I’ve seen people being homophobic to straight but feminine men.

        Anyway, OP meant that homophobia, just like sexism, seems to be more present in STEM.

      • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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        Meh not sure if it counts but an ex-client of mine decided to work out his fox news rage on me about my trans sister-in-law. Don’t worry, his manager was informed, the Google maps review of his employer now mentions it, and he really wasn’t expecting me when I knocked on his door late one night smirking and telling him what I did.

        Christians going to Christian.

      • uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        I was called gay long before I ever had a gay thought in my head (on account of being prepubescent).

        When I was being brutalized by bullies, gay was a generic derisive, associating things with homosexuality, the way cuck (now a generic derisive) associates with cuckold fetishists.

  • WHYAREWEALLCAPS@kbin.social
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    I’m not even involved in a STEM job any longer but I still see tons of STEM employed men spewing manosphere bullshit all the time. I’m also starting to see more and more well educated, articulate women parroting it. These women also tend to be overwhelmingly conservative in their political positions, too. Especially well educated white women.

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      “Town square debates”, which anything like this is, tend to be driven by emotions and instincts. Those men may be better to their friends and acquaintances. Those women may too be parroting it simply because that position signals their belonging to some group.

      My point is that being well-educated is less important here than it would seem, because it’s not about being correct.

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      In my experience the technology related fields are greater perpetrators than the base sciences. Though there is still an image problem for things like math (the not tech, engingeering or finance version) and a problem with people outside the field having sxcist expectations about those in it, I genuinely think the environment itself to be very inclusive.

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      I don’t know why any women sticks it out in that segment. The crap they deal with. No amount of money could make it worth it. The shitheads won.

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    As a woman engineer, yeah we’re probably disproportionately responsible. I’m sure science and math have more sexism than say art, but biology has to treat women better than engineering I assume.

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      I’m a guy so I realize I don’t see or understand everything from women’s perspective, but I’m genuinely surprised by this. I’ve worked for decades at companies with mostly engineers and mostly men, and my experience is that engineers have on average much more progressive views than, say, my neighbors. My current company recently switched from a male to a female CEO and I haven’t even heard anyone mention her gender, much less express any negative views in connection to her gender. My previous employer also had a female CEO and it just wasn’t a thing on people’s mind. At my current employer we have anonymous surveys to find problems in the workplace, and there were exactly zero people who reported observing any sexist actions.

      I’ve heard sexist remarks twice in 20 years, and both times I was so flabbergasted that I didn’t know what to do or say before the conversation had already moved on. So if I’m bad at speaking up when it happens, it’s only because I didn’t get enough practice.

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      Where I come from, the engineering fields are dominated by men but medical fields have a female majority. I wonder what’s the difference with medicine

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        Medicine is more aligned with the cultural idea of “what a woman should be/do”. Taking care of others, showing compassion and so on is regarded as more “feminine qualities” than “masculine”. Note this is not something I agree with, but I think it probably is part of the picture.

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      I’d recommend Acollierastro’s YouTube video about the rampant sexism, sexual harassment, and sexual assault in physics and astronomy. While engineering is certainly a big part of the equation, every hard science except biology is dominated by men and that definitely feeds all of these issues

    • scrimbingus@lemmy.world
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      Anecdotally, the biological engineering department at my university has a much higher fraction of women than the rest of the college of engineering, while mechanical/aerospace has the lowest, so it varies even within engineering.

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    They’re grouping non-binary people as female and pretending like this isn’t a problem for presenting a statistical analysis?

    Who the fuck gave the go ahead for doing this research?

    There should be separate reports on non-binary discrimination and female discrimination not combining the two and labeling them women. (in case you’re unaware, males and females can both be non-binary so grouping non binary people from either sex into “women” completely de-legitimizes the research)

    Completely unprofessional.

    https://www.stemwomen.com/women-in-stem-statistics-progress-and-challenges#:~:text=Women in STEM statistics – Conclusion&text=Overall%2C the percentage of female,with women making up 26%25.

  • doylio@lemmy.ca
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    One truth about the modern media landscape: stories that pit groups against each other play well

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      If someone thinks that a claim of male on female sexism is an attack on men, that’s a them problem. If someone accuses me of sexism, I generally don’t go on the defensive immediately. Conscientious people ought to seek out ways they can improve themselves and not even unconsciously discriminate against their colleagues. Empathy is in rather short supply these days though.

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      The division was there already, some just didn’t notice it. If you think we’d do better united, maybe consider challenging the sexists and other bigots creating the division.

      It reminds me of MLK Jr denouncing the “negative peace which is the absence of tension” as an obstacle to true equality, as opposed to the “positive peace which is the presence of justice”.

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          We can be less bigoted than the past while also having a long way to go still. You could even count as a sign of this improvement that these issues are taken seriously and discussed rather than ignored as “just the way things are”.

          But we can’t take it for granted, because progress is not guaranteed and equality can decline. Say, such as the matter of abortion rights in the US and consequently how pregnancies are policed, leading to possible arrests even for natural miscarriages.

          If you acknowledge that we aren’t finished fighting bigotry, I don’t really understand what’s your concern here.

            • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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              What is good example comment of gaslighting for $400 Alex?

              Must be nice being able to go thru life and thinking bigotry doesn’t exist while blaming the people who are reporting it. Yes it is the messenger that is at fault.

            • TwilightVulpine@lemmy.world
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              I get that clickbait is a thing, but as a community focused on Technology it seems pertinent to consider what the experience of different people in this area is like.

              Should we pretend it doesn’t happen so that the journalists don’t “win”? It is upsetting to know that this happens, but I don’t see how we “lose” by being informed. This isn’t someone trolling on social media, it’s the reality of the world we live in.

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              deleted by creator

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          deleted by creator

          • doylio@lemmy.ca
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            Name 5 societies in all of history, that are as diverse as the western world today and have the levels of opportunity for minorities

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        • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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          Bullshit and it’s time for the Western World to admit that is bullshit.

          Just in my city, solid blue district in solid blue state, the local Jewish temple has a police car in-front of it every time they have services due to a bomb threat over a year ago. People dropped fliers in mailboxes complaining about a person putting up a sign on their door in Arabic that said “god bless this house” The fliers called it un-American. The city next to mine had a mass protest against a Mosque being built.

          Ever been to Thailand? The tolerance of the pagan feels like an understatement. Everyone there believes whatever they want without any shame. People worshipping statues and making offerings to ancestors. Signs everywhere bragging about hallel food and prayer rooms. And before you even try it I am an atheist and have had zero issues there, unlike the US where I have to occasionally lie. The atheist groups I go to half the members don’t want their picture taken or name recorded.

          In what way are we Westerners less bigoted? It isn’t racism, it isn’t feminism, it isn’t religion, it isn’t LGBT. Go ahead and get a few beers in any minority in your country and ask them what they really think. Or you know you could spend thirty minutes of your life looking at all the documented peer-reviewed evidence gathered that paints a picture of our supposed tolerance.

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    I studied at the Technical University of Denmark and there was so much sexism towards the women there. I was oblivious to it the first year, and then got into a friend group of primarily women. It was mind-blowing hearing their stories, and of the way that university management and leaders shut them down every time they formally brought up the issue. There was (and still is) serious cover-ups of multiple rape cases.

    Don’t think it’s not happening just because you don’t hear about it. People in power are actively trying to keep this quiet, and it’s working.

  • Diva (she/her)@lemmy.ml
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    STEM (both technical university and workforce) has been a cesspit of misogyny from my personal experience.

  • Compactor9679
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    How do they know who is a woman and who isnt? What is a woman?

  • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml
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    I’m a woman in STEM. I only went to a CC, so maybe there’s a difference there, but I didn’t experience much sexism in my time there.

    I have experienced it at work, but usually from the younger, unsocialized men. Is it a problem? Sure, but I’ll take that over my bosses being sexist.

    Also, along with the sexism does come some privilege. When I do something wrong, I tend to get taken easier on when it comes to punishment. I also am able to form… different (non-sexial) bonds with the higher ups. These dynamics are much different to any bonds I had with female bosses from my previous field of work, and they’re different than the bonds the higher ups have with my male counterparts. I can say that I don’t worry about being laid off or fired.

    However, I’m also fairly certain that I have a sharp awareness of these bonds and how to manipulate them to get what I want.

    Not trying to poo-poo any sexism claims, just that there’s also certainly a privilege to be had being a woman minority in a male-dominated field.

    • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      That entire post was an ode to Internalized misogyny.

      Is it a problem? Sure, but I’ll take that over my bosses being sexist.

      Both can be wrong…When someone asks you if you’ve experienced sexism, It isn’t to fill some imaginary, arbitrary quota we’re reaching. No need to omit. No one’s grading your essay here.

      • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml
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        5 months ago

        Ah yes someone has a different experience?? They must internally hate themselves. 🙄

        I’m not omiting anything, just adding that some privilege comes along with the sexism.

        • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          You don’t know what internal misogyny is. This is sounding more and more like a pipe dream of an MRA incel trying to strawperson stories that situations women find themselves in are a privilege of power just so you can misogyny about it.