I’ve been job hunting for a few months with zero luck. None of the jobs I wanted would even call me back. Well, frustrated and bored, I edited my resume to include all kind of falsehoods.

I added a bachelor’s degreefrom a university that is now closed. I picked a field I could bullshit like I know what I’m talking about. I didn’t tell them that the school was closed, and I figured it might be hard for them to verify this on their end since it’s a bunch of extra steps to get the transcripts.

I changed my last job to an made up one. The job that I had been working is one that I’d honestly like to remove from my work history entirely. It’s not that I think they’d give me a bad review, but that they were a sex toy/fetish item retailer. I actually loved working there, but I honestly don’t want to have to explain this to my next employer. So I made up a similar company that is just an Amazon reshipper, gave it a google voice number that I controlled, and a made up address.

I changed a bunch of other smaller details, and gave myself a few awards.

And then I went applyin’. 3 days later I had an interview at a local small business. They sent out for an actual background check. I was a nervous wreck for almost a week, but I passed it. I start Monday.

The job I applied for didn’t require any real accreditation, but they wanted a bachelor’s in essentially anything. So I made one up. It’s a small business that doesn’t have an HR department. So I doubt they will ever dig any deeper as long as I never give them a reason to do so. They never called my actual last job, and they didn’t bring it up in any of the interviews I went. They never even called the made up job with the fake number.

I guess what I’m saying is that to weigh your own risk here. If you think you can get away with it, give it a try. You might be surprised what happens.