Help! My live-in partner of 3 years has too many clothes and it’s overrunning our house. We live in a two bedroom condo with only two closets in the entire unit, and there’s just not enough space.

At last count (2 years ago) there was over 300 articles of clothing - shirts, pants, jackets. There is constantly piles of clothes everywhere, clean and dirty, and nowhere to put them. They wear multiple outfits each day and throw them on the floor in the evening.

2 years ago I bought a few Ikea clothing containers to slide under the bed, and those are packed full of folded shirts that are never worn. And they just keep buying more.

I’ve spoken with them about this multiple times and they say that they’ll get rid of some of the clothes, but never did.

On the flip side, I have four pairs of pants, a few shorts, around a dozen shirts and a suit.

What can I do?

  • rufus@discuss.tchncs.de
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    9 months ago

    2 possibilities:

    a) They’re just inconsiderate or don’t realize it… Communicate. State your perspective. Make them realize the situation and make it clear how this affects the both of you. You could set boundaries and enforce them. For example agree on a confined space for the clothes and they can do whatever they want within that space but not exceed it.

    b) It’s a psychological issue / mental problem. For example they could be a hoarder. You pretty much can’t do anything unless you’re a psychologist. This needs therapy.

    Maybe start with making them realize the situation. Make sure they understand. Help them by teaching them how to handle their belongings and how to decide what to keep and what isn’t needed. Follow up with a clean-up day and help them to get rid of the excess. Give it to charity. Make sure boundaries are in place for the future. Be kind unless prompted to be strict and enforce what you’ve agreed on. (And properly agree on rules together. It doesn’t work if it’s your rules. You have to come up with the rules together.)