My gf (25) and me (27) fought and broke up, after two or three days we talked and decided that we should end the fight but without coming back together. We decided that we should remain taking to make it less rough on both.

It’s our first relationship ever and it lasted 3 years, I’m really sad that she’s not with me anymore and I don’t know what to do, she feels the same way but we think our differences are somewhat big. Although I love almost everything about her, I feel that the few things I don’t like are getting annoying.

Sometimes I feel I should experiment more and date more girls and not stick with the first girl I fell in love with but some other times I feel completely different and think that I’m very happy with her and I should keep trying to make it work because in the end, we don’t fight that much.

I really don’t know what to do, I don’t know if I’m right by letting this relationship die of not. I don’t know if maybe what I’m feeling is a fear to be alone or if it’s a fear of not being with her. What if we end it for good and I end up regretting it my whole life?

What if I never find a girl with the things I love about her? She loves when I go out with my friends even without her, she loves having sex, more than me, actually. She really likes most of my friends, she pays whenever she has money and I don’t or if we both have sometimes we split.

But she could also be very needy, she likes to go out more than I consider normal, she’s not a drunk but she always wants to go out for beer, I like beer but it gets annoying. She doesn’t like being at her home so whenever we don’t go out, she goes out anyway.

As I said, we’ve dated people in the past and whatever else you do but this is our first real relationship, so I really don’t know if this is normal in a girl (pros and cons) and I’m really lost here with what to do with my life. Has anyone faced something similar?

  • dlpkl@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    It’s about compromise. Not settling, but mindful awareness that you won’t ever find someone who’s 100% like you. Remember, similarity =/= compatibility. And that’s ok! What I recommend is that you take a while to think about how your differences will manifest in the long run and if those are things that will continue to bother you, or if they’ll get worse. Do not ever bank on things getting better on their own or them bothering you less over time. Put weight into things that are, not which might be.