I used to be an avid reader, but years of high school and depression completely ruined that. I haven’t been able to complete a novel since senior year six years ago. It’s frustrating to me and I want to know how I can overcome my lack of focus and anxiety. I’ve heard I’m not alone when it comes to this sort of thing at least.
E: I wasn’t expecting so many replies. Thank you, all of you, for the ideas.
Hey there, I was right there with you about a year ago. Couple years ago I easily read through 50 books in a year, then right at the end of college I couldn’t even begin one. After 3 years being out, I finally finished a couple books in less than half a year.
What helped is reading something easy and fun. Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy was it for me. Nowadays I’m doing therapy as well, which helps. I’m nowhere near as voracious a reader as I once was but I’m a different person than I was years ago, so that’s fine.
Hitchhiker’s is great for this, and I’ll also throw in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld for easy reading that is also bloody marvellous.
Ok I’m going with my experience here. I’ve been an avid reader of hundreds of books a year since I was a teen. When I had my baby, I wen through a traumatic birth that left me with post partum PTSD. When that happened I couldn’t read anymore. What helped me get back into reading is audiobooks and comics/mangas. 5 years has passed, I’m now mostly recovered from the PTSD but I am not the reader I used to be, I can now read a book now and then, I sometimes read big fanfics because knowing the characters and tags help a lot but audiobooks are really my go to and I can listen a bit everyday. Well, nevertheless, don’t feel bad for not reading, do whatever feels good to you.
+1
Audiobooks really got me going again. Life got more busy, but I can always listen to audiobooks while on the car or during chores. Quality of audiobooks can vary a bit, and you might demand something more higher quality until you get into audiobooks more. Plus, I listen to them in english which is not my first language, so it’s a really good listening exercise when the narrator has some bit of accent, I learn to recognize that accent later
Start with a relatively short page turner. Force yourself to read for 10 minutes at a set time every day. I found that when I was in a bit of reading funk, I had to simply take it a day at a time with small, easily digestible chunks. Once you get the first one out of the way, it starts to feel a lot more natural to work your way through more.
I was going to say the 10 minute thing, but in reverse, as in, it’s ok if you only read 10 minutes, so then it doesn’t become this huge task you have to do (which I believe people with depression can struggle with).
Reading is a skill, and if you don’t do it for a long while it can be hard to focus for long chunks of time. The 10 minute thing isn’t a hard rule, just a target. But I do think at least for a while it helps to build up routine and focus as you get back into the swing of things.
Exactly :)
Also, once you’ve been reading for 10 minutes it’s easier to just keep reading.
The problem for me is that I’m always trying to read shit that is boring as fuck, for like self betterment or something. Like I try to read non-fiction history, or a textbook, or some award winning abstract cerebral literature shit. Y’know, to learn something or get a different perspective and generally be a better person.
My brain doesn’t like that shit. My brain wants to read about emotionally repressed wizards shooting red lightning and werewolves that have too much sex. Way too much sex.
Maybe you have a similar problem as I do. You’re trying to read based on what you think is logical to read. You only have so many hours in a day so you want your reading to have a purpose or a benefit, but the books you enjoy reading don’t make you think or teach you a skill. They’re emotional fluff, but they’re what you actually enjoy reading. Does that sound like you? That’s me in a nutshell. Logically at odds with what I enjoy.
If I want to actually get through that other boring crap I have to set a schedule, read like 3 pages a day and put it down. I have to stick to the schedule, like working out. It takes forever to get through a book. It works though.
Uh, I’d like to know more about these wizards and werewolves! Please, tell me more.
Have you tried setting a routine? Even if it’s very little time at first, like ten minutes or ten pages, better yet if always at the same time, for example just before going to sleep, the important part is setting a routine and once that’s done it comes naturally to keep at it!
Good luck!
tldr; stopped forcing myself to read + cut social media habit + cheated
I used to be a voracious reader too, then clinical depression hit, followed by anxiety and my reading habit dropped. I’d still buy books intending to read them, and they’d just go unread. I’d see my increasing pile of interesting yet unread books grow larger and that’d stress me out more while making me feel like a failure. Which would just depress me even more. It was quite a cycle.
Therapy helped me realize some patterns…
I realized that whenever i tried to force/ guilt myself into doing anything, I just ended up resenting myself which sent me into a self-hating depressive cycle. So I gave myself permission to not read if I didn’t feel like it. It removed all pressure, guilt, resentment, and any negative emotion I had towards myself for not doing something that I thought I should be doing. Which also boosted my mental health.
I realized that my social media habit interfered with my reading as it lowered my attention span. Plus seeing the world going to hell in a handbasket worsens my anxiety and depression. So I broke that habit. The only way I could do it was by forcing myself to go offline. Took a few tries to get it right but I realized that I naturally gravitated to books when I didn’t have social media to go to. I now have monthly SM detoxes where I avoid SM for an entire week, which has also helped my mental health.
One other pattern I recognised was any stressful event in a book (even fictional) would stress me out and make me too anxious to read anything, which is a bummer since I love murder mysteries and non-fiction. I also realized that when I knew how the book ended, I could it read it with negligible anxiety. So that’s what I do, even though it feels like I’m cheating. I read the first few pages and when/ if I start stressing out, I read the last chapter, put the book down and go for a walk/ do some outdoor activity. Invariably I end up grabbing the book and reading it cover to cover while enjoying it, which imho is the most important part.
A good friend restored his reading habit by making his exercise & diet cheat day as his book day. By associating pleasure (via lazing, chocolates, & whisky) with books, he rediscovered his joy of reading.
Go with whatever works for you.
This is such a good idea. I’m stuck on a couple of books that I just can’t seem to finish because I have to put them down when they get too grim or anxiety-producing. Reading the end would either ease the anxiety or let me know I don’t want to finish them.
In my personal experience, when I do a lot of quickly rewarding things, the pace of my life speeds up. Drastically. It’s something that takes weeks to recover from. For example, whenever I hit the road for a few months, away from my computer, using my phone for only a couple hours a day, I find this peace. It’s not the sort of peace you feel when you’re just chilling during the day. It’s lasting peace, on a large scale. And I read a lot when I’m out there. But as soon as I return home, I return to my computer, and suddenly, life is full of opportunities for instant rewards (dopamine) again. And then I lose the patience for the slower and greater dopamine sources. It’s like, why would I want to wait hours to receive a lot of dopamine, when I could just have a little bit now, and a little bit then, and a little bit later. It takes willpower. You need to take a step back from the daily rush, especially involving your phone and social media, and YouTube and stuff.
It will require willpower, because the change will not be instant. Going outside and basking in the breeze is one of the easiest ways for me to just slooow down. Try meditation too. Just sit there, thinking of nothing (or if you have to, think about your breathing, or even think about thinking about nothing), and feel your body relax. You do not need to be doing things all day every day. Boredom can even be your friend. Learning to become one with nothingness is how you’re going to start reading again. Be patient, and commit to things without expecting instant gratification.
Old favourites sometimes help me get back in. It doesn’t take as much mental effort as something new and you already know you like it.
You most likely don’t have as much free time on your hands. That is a major reason for this. You can start with smaller books of interest to get the feeling of completion.
Audiobooks are a nice middle ground if you are too busy. If you have time to read some books then i would suggest you to avoid any app from the phone. Literally turn off you phone/tab and find yourself some nice, quiet place where you can read your book. Read it slowly at first and choose something you are really interested in and possibly not too " heavy" to digest. Some anthologies of short stories would do great.
I’ve discovered that my brain will only accept certain content certain ways. If I’m really into a fun book, then text is perfect. If it’s any kind of “literature” or non-fiction, I need to listen to it at the fastest setting my brain can absorb (usually 2x speed) while doing things that would otherwise not be fun (unloading the dishwasher, cleaning, doing laundry, whatever). And I pay attention to my emotional reactions to stuff. If something is too heavy to be fun (or to handle in general), I don’t make myself go back to it. I evaluate whether I want to continue. I have more than 1,000 books on my Libby wishlist, so I feel no guilt about moving on to the next thing.
I’m surprised to see this happen to so many people. I too read a lot in high school and after college I just couldn’t even start a book.
What helped me was reading something really easy that I used to like back when I was younger, like Percy Jackson and Harry Potter, just one or two chapters a day. Sometimes I waste the entire day just reading now.
I think what kept me off was mainly reading tech documentation or programming (e)books throughout the day. I don’t really want to see more books when I’m trying to chill out.
But the easy and palatable suggestion is a good one. There’s no shame reading books written for kids or young adults no matter how old you are. Heck, I bought a book for little kids with lots of beautiful drawn pictures for me some years ago. The wombat and his quest for carrots is a lovely story and I’m not ashamed to admit.
No wasting here IMO ;-)
I had a similiar issue (IMO due to the short and diverting nature of social media).
I decided to read a little bit every evening. In the beginning I skipped a lot of evenings, did a lot of book hopping and, never finished a book either. I also struggled with reading a longer time at a stretch or even whole chapters. But eventually I got better.
In my case I had to learn again to immerse myself in something that doesn’t reward me after five seconds, but after 15 minutes or longer.
Have you tried audio books?
Try reading something in a different format, like comic books, short stories, web serials, or audiobooks. Once you’ve gotten in habit of reading again it shouldn’t be too hard to switch back to regular novels. Maybe try out different genres, or revisit some of your favorite stories. And don’t be afraid to switch to another book if you find yourself not reading your current one. You can always come back to it later.