Inspired by another thread I saw recently. For this thread, I have two parts to this. What are you grateful for:
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on Beehaw? - Anything you like about this community, an interaction you appreciated, something that brightened your day, an aspect of site culture that appeals to you, etc.
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offline/in real life? - Just more generally, what are you thankful for? Anything that’s happened in your life recently that has turned out to be good, people making a positive difference in your life, etc.
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I finally went through and got my first haircut since 2018-2019. Went to a local queer barbershop, got my hair cleaned up and fully bleached and it was amazing. Took 6 hours to bleach, since I have a ton of hair (one of the largest hair jobs the person doing it ever had they said), but it turned out great. Then got home, dyed it, and was so damn euphoric and happy. Its nice to finally be in control of my hair.
Hair is honestly such a big thing for queer people. Be it growing it out, chopping it off, bleaching, dyeing, it plays a pretty big role in how you get read.
I don’t really have anything to add about Beehaw that hasn’t already been said numerous times. I’m very new, but it seems like a friendly place.
IRL, I’m happy that my 7 week baby slept 6 hours two nights ago! She usually maxes out around 4 of sleeping, with occasional nights where she’s hungry every other hour, so the occasional long sleep stretches are amazing. I’m hoping for more sleep to come.
Record your baby’s cry! It seems weird, I know, but they lose that newborn cry so quickly.
In general, though, remember to take pictures of the (literally) shitty moments, too. Kids love to hear stories about themselves as a baby and you’re so sleep deprived right now that your memory isn’t firing on all cylinders.
Records will help you remember so you can tell your kids the story of the time they shit an over the wall explosively. They’ll love it.
And I know it seems like that should be something really memorable as a parent, but you’ll be cleaning up so many bodily fluids it isn’t really noteworthy after a while. And did I mention the sleep deprivation affecting memory? I don’t remember.
On Beehaw
I’m new here, so I don’t know much about this community, but I’m really grateful for how welcoming everybody is! The “no down votes” is such a nice thing, I really love it and am more conscious about what I upvote. I’m surprised and grateful for this thread. It’s such a nice thing to do, practicing gratitude and encouraging others to do so. Also, it seems to be so easy to comment or post here in comparison to other platforms. It feels like one belongs to the community.
In real life
I’m grateful for being able to write. I was editing my last novel(s) for so long that I feared that I would’ve completely forgotten how to actually write something new. Of course that is not true, but feelings are feelings. I recently started another story and it flows well, I like the characters and I’m feeling like writing all the time. (Of course, I am still procrastinating here, but a little bit procrastinating is healthy!) Also, I’m grateful for my partner who always has my back and supports me in my creative endeavors. And of course I’m grateful for being healthy, having a roof above my head and enough to eat.
Thanks for making me thing about all that! :)
Thanks for sharing! My brother just finished the first draft of his big honkin’ fantasy novel (167,000 words) last week. Watching him work gave me such an appreciation for the effort it takes to write and edit! I don’t know that I would ever have the discipline for something like that.
Question for you: how do you find time and energy to write/edit? I’m assuming you have a full-time job. My brother’s just starting his career and mentioned how draining it was to work a full 9-6, get home at 7, and then only have 5 hours to himself before the next day begins. In my own life, I’ve found that creativity is almost impossible when just going through the motions takes up 90% of my energy. Admittedly, I’m an essayist and poet, not a novelist. My projects take days to weeks, not months and years. Would love to share some advice with him from another long-form writer.
That’s a big novel, congrats to your brother! Finishing a first draft is always something special! I’ll try to give some advice! :) (And as always I couldn’t make it short, fantasy writers, am I right …?)
I’m not a poet, so I’m not too familiar with your process, but I bet we share some common trends. But I will try to give some insight in my work.
Disclaimer: Since two years I’m in the lucky position to work only part-time (25h per week and home office) and I’m really free in when to put my hours in. There are only some mandatory times I have to be online; for meetings for example. The only “negative” thing is: I’m a technical writer so I write at work and in my free time, albeit the topics are *very * different.
But I still can share some of my process, since I used to work full time for a while and I also did write back then. I agree with your brother that it is quiet draining, working 8 hours (+ commute if no home-office), doing chores and so on, especially when he is just starting out. That was difficult for me, too!
What I used to do: I tried to write every day, even if it was just a few minutes/a few words. Music helped me to get into the headspace I wanted to get into. My work always allowed flextime, so it was easier to write before work and I didn’t have to get up crazy early. I tried to get up an hour early and write then, because usually I don’t have the energy after work. The downside was that I was home at 8pm or something like that.
(Some days I had enough energy to also write after work, so I seized the opportunity whenever it arose.)
On the weekends I used to write more than in the work week. I put aside some hours that were sacred to me and where only moved in an emergency. Also, I regularly took some “writecations”, a few days off, to focus on my writing or editing. Depending on where you and your brother live this might be a bit harder. Here in Germany I have 30 days PTO per year.
But of course writing is slower when working full-time. I had to remember myself often that writing is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. So slow and steady, conserving energy and doing it one page, one passage or even one sentence at a time is what I would recommend.
It helped me a lot to structure my day around writing, noticing when I had half an hour of free time to write (e.g. when I still was commuting, I would write on the train; or at my lunchbreak for days where I couldn’t write before work etc.)
Also, taking a lot of self-care moments/hours/days, to not burn out. He shouldn’t beat himself up, if he cannot write everyday, sometimes life gets in the way.
The important thing is to keep going and not giving up. :)
Hope that helps!
It does! Grateful for the insight, and glad to hear you’ve found a routine that lets you write daily. One page at a time! There is hope :)
For beehaw, I’m grateful that I haven’t had to take a single moderation action yet! I’ve been keeping an eye out just in case on c/science, but even when there’s been some disagreement about how to, eg, interpret a study people have been engaged in constructive discussion. I think that’s really indicative of the quality of the community we’ve got going here! Love y’all ♥
In real life I’m grateful to the folks at my local grocery store. My wallet was stolen over the weekend and though my bank gave me a digital card while I wait for a new one to show up in the mail, it hasn’t been working. The folks at the grocery store were super accommodating with it and happily held on to my groceries for me while I hurried home to get a check (it’s been forever since I’ve needed to use a check!) to pay for them. They even put my frozen stuff in the walk-in in the back so it wouldn’t melt before I returned. I guess some might say “They’re just doing their job,” but for me it really made a difference on an otherwise stressful day.
On Beehaw I’m grateful for the positive vibe of the place in general. There’s a lack of nastiness and negativity here which feels very comfortable. Others in this thread have mentioned the no downvotes and I have to agree to the extent that when I drop by other instances it kind of unsettled me to see it, I prefer life without it.
In life I’m grateful for the love of my kids, which makes me feel like I belong in the world. Also my job because I enjoy it and it gives me the means to support my family.
Seconding the positive vibe of beehaw! I posted about a relationship quandary yesterday and the replies were so respectful. I’ve deleted online personal questions before because of how aggressive people have been, but here everyone was really kind, even when disagreeing. It actually cheered me up a lot. I’m very grateful for that.
On Beehaw:
I’m really appreciative of the community for sticking to more positive values and being passionate about making Beehaw a welcoming place. Love seeing people happy about releasing their inhibitions, jumping into whatever conversations are going on, and finding a community of support here. Also thankful for the other mods, just for being cool to talk to and being actively present all over the site, and for the admins - alyaza, Gaywallet, and Lionir for being transparent about how Beehaw is administered, and Remington and Penguincoder for keeping the site up and also being positive presences.
In real life:
IRL, I’m glad to not be sick anymore and finally have time for cleaning and job-hunting. It’s been rough in the way of money for the past few months, so I’m happy to have my partner and my parents’ support and to be working through slowly unfucking my life. I’m also grateful that my creative juice has really been pumping lately and that I’ve been much more prolific in my various writing projects.
On BeeHaw: I’m grateful for the amazing community and the wholesome interactions I’ve had so far. Everyone seems to be very chill and hopefully not too demanding of the mods. I appreciate all the effort the mods and devs are putting in to keep the community running. Also, the no downvote system is working out really great!
IRL: I’m finally allowed to worked legally so my husband helped me make my resume last night and even put me through a mock interview. This is my first time formally applying for a job and I hope the job hunt won’t wear me out. advise is welcome btw
Best of luck with the job hunt!
I recommend looking up the STAR method for answering competency based questions (eg tell us about a time you worked with a difficult customer). The best thing is the stories don’t even have to be true! As long as they sort of match up with your experience and follow the STAR method you’ll go far.
Also applying to jobs these days is a really long slog. Remember to take frequent breaks! And do not take any rejection personally. Easier said than done I know! Try to think of it as a numbers game. Your goal is to throw as many resumes as possible out into the ether. One of them is bound to boomerang back with a job offer.
You’ll do great!
Thank you so much ♡ I’ll keep those in mind c:
To add to not taking rejections personally:
In most cases, for skilled work, most jobs that are posted will be filled by someone they already know, if indirectly, through their network of contacts. They often only interview people who come recommended to them, so it means absolutely nothing about you or your skills if you aren’t interviewed.
On the flip side, networking is incredibly powerful. Meet & impress people. Put yourself out there.
I’ve bootstrapped a network from effectively nothing in four different cities/towns, now. I started by just showing up in person to introduce myself and tell them about my skills and that I’m looking for work. Then, once you have your foot in the door, make sure you’re staying visible and contributing so people remember you when you apply for new jobs/promotions. Networking has landed me literally every single job I’ve ever had. (Well, not counting my school’s co-op program.)
That’s good to know! I also just had a friend tell me about networking and how nepotism just works that way. I understand that people are more inclined to work with someone they know at some level instead of a complete stranger.
I’ve been lying low lately because migrating to another country is a struggle and I really just have to break that barrier of anxiety to get myself out there. Also, there’s another wall with not knowing how to drive in a car centric city and a very limited amount of money.
I just finished building my resume last night and it’s time to send them to whomever will accept it. Starting a new chapter like this feels so nerve wracking, I’m not gonna lie
Beehaw:
This thread gaining traction and thoughtful responses is indicative. I’m grateful for the positive community here!
In life:
I’m very grateful for my kiddos who make me laugh and fill my bucket every day, a meaningful job I enjoy, a supportive partner, living in one of the best places in the world (imho), and having effectively unlimited great books to read.
I’m living the dream!
Damn right. You deserve it.
I am thankful for my kids. I have four who are all intelligent and amazing individuals. I need to tell them how much I appreciate them more.
I’m grateful for my health and the health of my loved ones.
