I believe I generally understand the concept of the (trans, not Star Trek) usage of “The Prime Directive” but as a cis person, I don’t really seem to get why. If a person you know and are close to starts to act or talk in a way like they are possibly trans, why is it… not proper, for lack of a better term, to genuinely tell them “I think you might want to seriously explore these feelings”? It feels like you should? Like you should be reassuring to someone who feels like this?

  • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    9 months ago

    I’m not there, but I think I would want to minimize the kernel of doubt that I’m only expressing my gender because someone put it in my head. I think it’s something people would figure out, but I think it could save a lot of grief and responsibility for everybody.

  • glans [it/its]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    9 months ago
    • I personally do not appreciate people prying like this. It is obnoxious.
    • none of your beeswax
    • its putting someone on the spot… What are they supposed to say to that?
    • you could make someone feel exposed and afraid that they are legible in a way they were not aware of and that could lead them to recoil in fear
    • trans people, especially newly out trans people, see themselves everywhere. Its cute but its not real. Which is why they need to be reminded to reel it in.
    • who asked you for your advice?
    • its like telling someone they should get married, divorced, have children or any other major life change. How much do you really know about their situation to be giving non solicited advice? I’m not going to walk up to some woman and remind her she’s 38 so tick tick tick better get preggers asap.
    • its dumb to attribute perceived gender non conformity to being trans… Some people just do things differently
    • the best thing to do is to convey your appreciation and support of trans people as a general concept 100% of the time. This will be noticed by whomever is looking for it.
    • if you feel the need to say anything just keep it limited in scope: “that outfit really suits you” not “the print on that shirt says something about the kind of person you are and I am going to tell you about it”

    And I will draw your attention to your words:

    starts to act or talk in a way like they are possibly trans

    explore these feelings

    Big jump from observed behaviors to mind reading about feelings.

    And if someone starts “acting trans” (not even getting into what that could even mean) all of a sudden do you think its probably due to a lack of awareness on their part? Ppl don’t become trans overnight. If they are changing their behavior they are likely aware. They have already thought about it. You are not invited into that dialogue right now.