I don’t have anything to look forward to in life except money entering my direct deposit every two weeks and back catalogs of podcasts. I don’t even want to listen to music anymore.
I don’t have anything to look forward to in life except money entering my direct deposit every two weeks and back catalogs of podcasts. I don’t even want to listen to music anymore.
I’m not saying it’s easy, but what you need is not motivation but to do things in spite of lacking the motivation.
yeah i’ll just snap my fingers and make myself do stuff i can’t make myself do
Again, I know it’s not easy. No one is motivated to do what is good for them every day. The key is habit. I didn’t feel like meditating, walking my dog, or climbing today, and I may have done them poorly, but I did them. I did them because I have to every day regardless of how I feel. I don’t feel good, but I would feel worse if I didn’t. I know it seens hopeless when you’re depressed, but I like being pessimistic because I keep trying and eventually something will go slightly better than I imagine and I’ll be pleased. I guess I’m lucky to have a little hypomania from time to time, but I promise things change eventually and the world isn’t so bad if you get out of your head and experience it sometimes (I’m usually miserably in my head, but it’s true).
i don’t form habits or routines like that, and i always chafed against any kind of regular schedule
sounds like survivorship bias. the people who it doesn’t improve for probably don’t stick it out. It’s been getting worse for 10+ years. Attempts to get treatment over the years ranged from useless to incredibly harmful. There’s… well, I’ll skip the trauma dumping, tl;dr i need to be rescued, not bootstraps.
Change is the only constant. I know I won’t convince you of anything because you are committed to depression.
committed like a fluid is committed to the shape of a container. I can’t will myself to succeed in capitalist and neurotypical society, i have no power over anyone else or my circumstances unless you’re on some Sartre bullshit and i’m supposed to go kms.