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  • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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    22 days ago

    Even with just two kids and two parents, one parent is paying or presenting a ticket, second parent notices kid 1 is leaking nose horror all over their mouth and reaches to wipe it. Kid two, now knowing they have 4 unsupervised seconds, will teleport to the other side of the room, use their Felix the Cat briefcase to make a stepladder, and is now standing on top of a brontosaurus smoking cigarettes they found.

    My one year old yesterday used the time it took me to give my 4 year old a courtesy wipe in the bathroom to push a kitchen chair across the room, climb that chair, start the coffee maker, and grab a handful of candy from the candy drawer. It sounds outrageous, but we’ve been pressing coffee pot buttons in the morning to help make the coffee. He’s seen me get him a piece of candy for desert from the candy drawer. He learned the day before he could climb up on a piano bench by pulling his belly on top. And that morning he pushed in a heavy kitchen chair that was sticking out, and it is the first time he could move it. So, of course, he synthesized those skills at the most opportune time.

    He’s one. My four year old gets up to some real oceans 12 shit when left to her own devices. Kids are nuts. It would be equally a normal story for a 4 year old if the kid had been found hiding INSIDE the pot, making documentary accurate dolphin noises.