I am a lazy failure who can’t do anything. Basic shit I consistently just… don’t do. Its embarrassing. I don’t even want to list all of it. I have hobby stuff I’ve wanted to for years that I’ve just never gotten set up. Homework? More like I’m not fucking doing that. I’ve been wanting to take steps for months to get myself on hormones and get clothes but have I done them? No? Of course not, because I’m fucking lazy. All I do is rot. Its been this way for a long time, I can’t even remember when the last time I didn’t struggle with this. And it doesn’t feel like its getting better. If it really is my autism I’m not sure how it ever can get better.

  • ReadFanon [any, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    9·
    2 months ago

    I think I’m burned out after taking on too many tasks, so to just cancel things and gently close my eyes is enjoyable in some sense.

    For me I’d want to make a distinction between a feeling of relief or respite, which you appreciate, and a feeling of enjoyment.

    If your “laziness” gives you that sense of relief, sort of like when you’ve been wearing uncomfortable shoes all day and you finally get home and take them off, then imo that’s qualitatively different from actively looking forward to avoiding doing your tasks and finding it gratifying to not do them.