I have a 14-year-old. Her sitting on my lap for a posed photo would be pretty inappropriate. Her just doing it at all would be inappropriate. This isn’t a 6-year-old. This is a fully pubescent teenager. That is not how you relate to her in a healthy way.
You’re pushing something just for the sake of trying to be right. If your boundaries are so rigid with your own daughter that you genuinely would not allow her at 14 to sit on your lap for a photo, and then you mentioned pubescent being a criteria for how you relate to her, then it is pretty clear that you’re the one with a serious problem. That, or just a liar.
You’re highlighting distinctions and drawing rigid moral boundaries that truthfully are not relevant when it’s your own daughter. Unless one of you for some reason is uncomfortable with it which is just a personal thing that varies between people, you thinking that your daughter sitting on your lap for a photo at 14 is wrong because she’s- as you said it, not 6 but fully pubescent - dude you are the one with a problem because you just sexualized your own daughter in your eyes. Please talk to a mental health professional about that because that is a bit alarming. That kind of mathematical approach is how ultra-religious types deal with these things and that’s because it harkens back to a time when girls were married off at ages as young as 9. It’s sick and unhealthy.
I’m not talking about any “whole thing” I was only addressing specifically your way of seeing it as inappropriate the notion of your own daughter sitting on your lap for a photo at 14.
Is it odd? Yeah! It’s unusual because at that age most girls feel like it’s too childlike to sit on the lap of a father, so they would likely not want to. But that’s not what we’re talking about. You called it inappropriate. She’s your daughter; there’s nothing wrong with it inherently. You pointed to her pubescence as the reasoning; that’s really weird. Again - she’s your own child.
Maybe you really meant something a little different, like that it would be unusual because people often don’t want to be seen as so much younger than they are, but your referring to it as having an objectively amoral nature is not good.
And yes you sexualized her, that doesn’t mean anything to do with physical sexual maturity. In this context it means you viewed her with sexual desire attached. Most fathers see their own daughters as their babies, even into adulthood. We can’t help it; it’s called love. A father who sees his daughter in a sexual light, is in need of some help, for real.
Yeah, I left his comment alone because it was creepy, but him justifying not having a physically affectionate relationship with his own daughter because she’s “pubescent” was very red flag to me.
Hopefully he’s just being argumentative, otherwise I agree, he might benefit from talking with a therapist about this.
I have a 14-year-old. Her sitting on my lap for a posed photo would be pretty inappropriate. Her just doing it at all would be inappropriate. This isn’t a 6-year-old. This is a fully pubescent teenager. That is not how you relate to her in a healthy way.
You’re pushing something just for the sake of trying to be right. If your boundaries are so rigid with your own daughter that you genuinely would not allow her at 14 to sit on your lap for a photo, and then you mentioned pubescent being a criteria for how you relate to her, then it is pretty clear that you’re the one with a serious problem. That, or just a liar.
You’re highlighting distinctions and drawing rigid moral boundaries that truthfully are not relevant when it’s your own daughter. Unless one of you for some reason is uncomfortable with it which is just a personal thing that varies between people, you thinking that your daughter sitting on your lap for a photo at 14 is wrong because she’s- as you said it, not 6 but fully pubescent - dude you are the one with a problem because you just sexualized your own daughter in your eyes. Please talk to a mental health professional about that because that is a bit alarming. That kind of mathematical approach is how ultra-religious types deal with these things and that’s because it harkens back to a time when girls were married off at ages as young as 9. It’s sick and unhealthy.
If you say so. I’m far from the only person who finds the whole thing highly inappropriate.
Also, I “sexualized” my own daughter because she’s a human being who went through puberty like most people do. Have you not done so?
I’m not talking about any “whole thing” I was only addressing specifically your way of seeing it as inappropriate the notion of your own daughter sitting on your lap for a photo at 14.
Is it odd? Yeah! It’s unusual because at that age most girls feel like it’s too childlike to sit on the lap of a father, so they would likely not want to. But that’s not what we’re talking about. You called it inappropriate. She’s your daughter; there’s nothing wrong with it inherently. You pointed to her pubescence as the reasoning; that’s really weird. Again - she’s your own child.
Maybe you really meant something a little different, like that it would be unusual because people often don’t want to be seen as so much younger than they are, but your referring to it as having an objectively amoral nature is not good.
And yes you sexualized her, that doesn’t mean anything to do with physical sexual maturity. In this context it means you viewed her with sexual desire attached. Most fathers see their own daughters as their babies, even into adulthood. We can’t help it; it’s called love. A father who sees his daughter in a sexual light, is in need of some help, for real.
Yeah, I left his comment alone because it was creepy, but him justifying not having a physically affectionate relationship with his own daughter because she’s “pubescent” was very red flag to me.
Hopefully he’s just being argumentative, otherwise I agree, he might benefit from talking with a therapist about this.