take the worst parts of facebook, then remove all the somewhat useful parts of facebook, then turn every interaction into some stage of a job application, and you’re kind of seeing capitalism from inside of the mask, or on the surface of the mask, or something, suffocating because there’s no light coming in, there’s just the rotten breath of the worst strebers and capitalists high on their own supply

The most humiliating part of most job applications is having to temporarily portray yourself as appropriately house-broken, aka employable. Someone who is optimistic and believes that their labor for the company will let them actualize their deepest values. Anyway imagine if all social network posts were written solely by people at the exact nadir of that humiliation ritual.

A glimpse into porky’s ideal world.

EVERYONE is their own individual small business owner. It’s not enough to just be trained in a skill and be good to go. Oh no, you see porky’s a very picky eater these days. Even McDonalds is prestigious! They don’t hire just ANYONE! That’s where Linkedin comes in. YOU have to now become an industry celebrity in the very industry you are forced to want to be a part of! Now, you also can “network” or find a rich person and groom them for years online and maybe…just maybe…they’ll consider going against their interest and do one thing pork hates, make a job, for you as a token of your “friendship”. You EARNED it with your “personal brand”.

Welcome to the future, baby!

it’s a sad combination of self-promotional grifters and alienated office workers trying to convince themselves they’re doing something meaningful with their lives.

I fucking hate social media. If I don’t have a fucking linkedin I lose lots of job opportunities and that fucking sucks, because not havng a job means i depend on my parents for everything

Open-air slave markets would be too obvious

ConkSat is the only good thing on linkedin. It’s a god-tier aerospace parody account