This trick really does work. The other day there was this big 'ol snake in my garden, I thought it was a rope at first. I complimented its boobs, asked if it had a boyfriend and if it wanted to come over to my mom’s basement so we could have a date and talk about Arch Linux. This made the snake visibly uncomfortable so it pretended to answer its cell phone as it slithered away. No violence neccesary. Just make the snake uncomfortable until it doesn’t want to be there then it will leave.