Our ten-year-old is nervous about identifying as “therian” and “otherkin” (these are Dad-is-confused quotes, not scare quotes). She’s acting like a dragon, putting shiny things in a hoard, making a nest in her bed, occasionally growling instead of communicating actual important things. I’ve listened and been supportive (I hope), but I need to talk with her more about it at length once I do some research (which she has suggested).

She gets these concepts from Scratch (ostensibly a coding platform, actually a BBS for tweens) and her very online friends. I don’t yet know how to approach it in a supportive way, but mostly I’m just upset that what should be a time in a kid’s life where they’re following their own imaginations, interests, and emotions to wherever wild place they may lead has turned into a time where you feel like you have to shoehorn yourself into This Strictly Defined Identity right this instant or else you’re a person without a clique. And it’s not the old prep/nerd/jock/goth/etc dynamic, it’s gotta be something deep-seated that will feel like a betrayal if you ever give it up.

Like, the only thing she’s really told me about this is that “some people call themselves therians and say they choose to be therian, but those aren’t real therians”. Gah! I want her to just experience being and exploring for a while without labeling and gatekeeping.