• Bitchwhiskers@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    I am in the midst of a really bad fibromyalgia flare and have had insomnia for the last week or so. I did a deep dive/scroll on her IG bc I had time at 3am, and hoped it would bore me to sleep lol. But her IG tells a really sad story. Much farther back, when her 100 lb weight loss was her whole identity, every 6-10 posts was a side by side of old “fat” self next to current waif self. I mean she posted these constantly!
    Not sure which of you recently pointed this out, but her pregnancy with L is what triggered this latest spiral of hers. She was feeling good about herself bc she was thin. She struggled with her feelings about pregnancy and pregnant body (and to be clear, I’m not saying she struggled with her feelings about L. But she did have some honest moments about “bonding” struggles) (and if you just looked without reading you’d never guess she struggled…. A lot of skin in the feed!) and I’m sure she legit had some depression issues. The thing is she has never dealt with her disordered eating and body dysmorphia. So here we are. The 100lb weight loss is way in the past so that can’t be her identity. She’s loving her current weight loss a lot, obviously. But clearly she’s still unwell bc her use of filters is insane.
    She’s really not a well person. In addition to fueling other people’s hypochondria, she’s doing damage to some like me who sought her content for legit inspiration. It fucks with my head and my self image. It has to be doing the same to women who don’t know what’s going on. She needs so much real therapy. Seriously. The hypochondria alone is wild and unchecked. How many illnesses has she had oh so briefly? Must be nice. Anyone with chronic pain issues must question why they can’t just stop feeling their illness and go traveling and shopping instead. And I don’t say that to be glib. The story her grid tells is sad, even scary. It’s all so gross. Janette nailed it too. Interestingly I was mentally composing this post or a blog post of my own at the same time Janette posted that story.
    Anyway, just my thoughts.

    • Whaaambulence@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      That was me and you’re right. But also, this is family history. Her sister ended up with an ED because she had her jaw wired shut in high school because she had jaw surgery and lost a lot of weight. Had every one of her kids pre term because of this. When S lost the 100lbs, it was from starving herself thin and when people called her out, she said she “couldn’t possibly have an ED” because her sister did and it “hit close to home” for her. She sold her sister out and her story to save face. Then, years later she copped to it, because it was her new narrative. NK was also severely overweight and had a bypass or sleeve. She had complications with it because she continued to over eat…again, not addressing the root cause of it. The whole family has an unhealthy relationship with food and body dysphoria. SO when people ask “how does her family support this”…this is why. They don’t even see if because they also suffer from it

      • Bitchwhiskers@lemmy.ca
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        2 months ago

        Yes I’ve noticed that family pattern as well. I feel sad for NK bc as someone with Fibro and I can’t fathom how she does so much all the time. Maybe she’s a hypochondriac too or maybe she’s managing hers better. Who knows…but It’s not all sunshine and thrifted fucking roses in that gene pool, that’s for sure!

    • No_really_why@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      I’m betting she’s desperately hoping to lose enough weight to look like her filters so no one can “gotcha” her… but she doesn’t realize weight loss doesn’t equal filters changing your skull structure.

    • MoonChild@lemmy.caM
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      2 months ago

      I’m so sorry you’re in the middle of a flair. You’ve perfectly summed up Birdie. She is, in no way, happy with the way she looks and, like you, I believe she has some serious issues that really need addressing. She has such a need for attention she’ll go to any length to get it. Did you notice her ‘illnesses’ seem to crop up when her engagement gets low? She’s like every liar I’ve ever known. When they are caught, backed into the corner, they will pull something from out of their bag of tricks to deflect. I feel so badly for those followers who are still believers because they must go through so much turmoil trying to make sense of what they see.