After a remarkably short court hearing, Elon Musk has found the presiding judge in his own case guilty of “the woke mind virus” and sentenced him to 47 years in jail. The jury watched the ruling read in Musk’s own halting and strange speech, collectively shrugged their shoulders, and went home. “Well he has all that money,” said Anne Sodding, one of the jurors on the case. “He must be right, I guess.” Mr. Musk has declined to comment and was last seen driving his Tesla Cyber Truck the wrong way down a one way street exiting the courthouse.