• albatross@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    In a lot of ways, my lowest point was loss from having a severe mental health crisis and losing my mind, my beloved partner of 15 years, my job (admittedly job stress was part of total breakdown, so maybe this was a bonus??), my “I’m a serious artist” hobby, my savings (now in debt), and most of my friends. 3 mos later, my best friend my cat was hit by a car, partly due to my own housing instability which racked me with guilt.

    1. BUT my true lowest point internal suffering wise was 7 years earlier, when I became deeply depressed and freaked out fearing I’d lose all the things I ended up losing for reals! That actually hurt a lot worse inside than when I actually had to cope with what I feared most.

    2. AND despite the loss, when I was 22, I probably still would have traded for my physical post-loss life circumstances. Yet I don’t think of my life at 22 as a “low point”, I was just used to having a lot less.

    Realizing both (1) and (2) is one of the things that help me to get through the “lowest point”. They reminded me that a lot of “lowest point” is perspective. It didn’t like magically fix anything, the pain from loss is/was still very raw, persistent and real. But it helped me to a little bit see that it was the gift of having things that made a low point when I didn’t have them anymore.