I can relate… If it is worth doing, it must be done 100% right, first try, zero margin for error, no rehearsals, no practise round.
Like rocket science!
(Except I know that’s not how rocket science is done, either, but somehow that thought refuses to sink in)
I think there isn’t a difference, I think leaving the ideas that society (an ableist society, at that) has imprinted on us from birth of who we should be, and instead embracing who we are are two sides of a really healthy coin.
Probably the most important lesson I took from my diagnosis is that my boundaries are legitimate and valid, and that it is those who disrespect them that are wrong, not me for setting them. Some of those boundaries mean I exclude myself from situations I know will be overwhelming, or I exclude people from my life who refuse to communicate with me in a way that I can deal with.
I agree that a lot of this comes with age, but I also think that realising that we simply don’t process the world around us the same way NT do and that most of the world around us caters to them, can go a long way in to reassuring yourself that you aren’t the “problem”, and that you taking care of your own needs is fair enough (if not radical), whatever that looks like.