This might sound very cinicall, but I gave up on dating neurotypicals entirely. The “gap” is just to large for me.

Now I exclusively date other neurodivergent people and this was the best change I made in my life. Not having to constantly explain some “weird stuff” I do or why some thing matter more then others is a reliefe. Not being forced to justify ones own existence to a partner takes a lot of the strain away.

Even better sometimes when we both care about a certain thing others would find strange, it’s a rare moment of understanding we seldomly get to share with neurotypicals, like really nice clothing texture, a pleasent sound, perfectly marching colours, or a random buildings symetrical features. And when we go out together and it just gets to much, wanting to quit and go home is nothing that needs to be explained or justified.

The best part is that the other often also questions very basic parts about themselves, leading to deep and revealing conversations. Since they too often seek out more knowledge about existing in this world, I don’t feel bad for sharing doubts about myselfy because I never fear these things being invalidated.

The most difficult part might actually finding other neurodivergents, but it is worth the effort for me.