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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Used-Ad-1398 on 2023-09-01 12:28:39.

My sister (29f) and I (26m) are not close. We come from a toxic family. We have three other siblings neither of us speaks to, and our parents were the overly strict kind of parents who veered into bullying with how tough they would be on us. Nothing was good enough. If we weren’t getting A’s we were in trouble and if we did get A’s but we didn’t make any progress in our jobs that we had in high school, we were told that at their age, back in their home country, they were earning enough to help feed their families and were also expected to do well in school. They would also say we had it good. Friends were overrated in my parents eyes. Being sick was not an excuse to miss anything. One time I was in the hospital after a severe allergic reaction and my parents went to my teacher and brought me school work to do. I was 8 years old at the time. Another time I had a really bad flu and my parents did let me stay home from school but my B on the test we had the week I went back was a grounding offense.

I never had a good relationship with any of my siblings but my sister has made attempts for us to remain in touch and she wants a closer relationship with me. But she has her issues left over from our parents that can make her unbearable. She calls herself my elder, before she got married she expected my help just because I was a man and she was a woman.

We’re both married now. My wife and I are expecting our second child. My sister is expecting her first. She invited my wife and I to lunch with her and her husband to announce the news to us and to announce they were having a boy. My sister was not happy. She started complaining that she wanted a family of all girls and how could God do this to her. She said she’ll never be the grandma. She’ll always be the dad’s mom and if she’s having a boy now she’s probably going to have a family of all boys. My wife pointed out that dad’s family doesn’t mean you’re not close and she pointed out that her mom is extremely close to her dad’s family and that she never had a single thing to do with her mom’s family. She also said that her three brothers and their families are very close and they are adored by their grandkids.

My sister dismissed my wife’s reasoning and said she knows nobody who could say that. She was also rude to her and told her she was interrupting a conversation she wasn’t part of. I got pissed at her for talking to my wife like that and told her she was out of line. In return, she was pissed and said it was easy for me to say because my wife and I are expecting a girl. That we didn’t get stuck with a useless boy only. I lost my cool and asked her why she got pregnant then if she was going to reject a boy and refuse to even try seeing it as a good thing. She told me because she wanted only girls and it was none of my business anyway.

AITA?