You actually did pretty well. Buddhism teaches that suffering exists, but also that it has a cause. Once that cause is perceived and understood, it will cease. It then goes on about how to do that. It’s pretty much how an angry software developer version of the Buddha would react, I imagine.

The ironic bit is that none of the religions/philosophies mentioned are particularly god-oriented. Some forms of Buddhism have various concepts for other beings that are like gods in some ways, but they’re not generally considered the main focus of the belief system. Not only can one be completely atheistic and materialist and still be a great Buddhist, it’s not even really necessary to believe that a historical Buddha existed if you want to get technical.