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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawayaccfamily on 2023-09-03 23:27:42.


A bit of context I (31F) and my husband (37M) having been together a bit more of 3 years and married for 1 year. My husband grew up where his dad worked and mum cleaned and did everything for him. His family is still very much old fashioned which I don’t mind, it’s their culture and I respect it. Both his parents are very happy like that.

For a few months I didn’t work so I took care of the house full time, kept it absolutely spotless, cooked did the grocery shopping etc. My husband worked. In the meantime I was building my own business as well.

About 4 months ago my husband lost his job and for all that time couldn’t find anything and I had just opened my business which was booming and so I took care of the bills etc… but as well I was taking care of the house and cooking. He would leave things dirty behind, clothes on the floor, wet towels too. I kept nagging him all the time to clean up after himself and he would just say “sorry” or say that he didn’t do it on purpose but nothing changed.

His father absolutely did not like the fact that I was paying for everything and he didn’t work. He would say how dare he steal my own hard earned money.

But about a couple of weeks ago, I got fed up and told my husband I would start charging him 10 dollars for everything I had to clean up behind him. He simply said ok and didn’t say anything afterwards. So for the next two weeks I cleaned up after him without nagging or mentioning it and wrote down the date and what I did just in case. In that time I managed to make 150 dollars and now end of the month and told my husband he owed me that.

I guess he didn’t take me seriously and when he say I was very serious he called me an AH and we had a fairly big argument. He still gave me the money as I wouldn’t back down.

My husband has some savings, not much but some. My husband is otherwise a very good partner and supportive in everything I do and we get along amazingly well. It’s just the cleaning part that is an issue in the marriage.

So AITA for charging 10 dollars for cleaning up after him or should I just give him back the money and do the cleaning myself?